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Hi my little kitty gurls! Welcome back to my RuPaul’s Drag Race recap where I discuss little women (not to be confused with Little Women), horse penises, and Grinch pubes! Episode 6’s journey down the yellow brick road was arguably the weirdest trip of the season, but before we delve into the interpretative dance and questionable runway, let’s go back to “The Beginning” (still available on iTunes)

Our episode starts with the girls reconvening in the workroom following Acid Betty’s miscarriage on the main-stage. For the most part, the queens are happy to see Bitter Betty go, especially Thorgy who breaks the world record for most eye-rolls in an hour period this episode. Derrick Barry is probably less happy with the elimination considering that she’ll be doubly hated now that the other mean queen of the season is gone.  With only 7 girls left in the competition, things are heating up, and the queens are beginning to turn their attention to the reigning queen of the competition- Bob.

Mother Ru enters the workroom with an intern from Entertainment Weekly to open the library for our shady queens. None of the reads are amazing, but Kim manages to incorporate NPBFAG into a joke, so kudos to her! Also props to Bob for calling out Robbie’s wig line- the very thing that gets her ass sent home at the end of the episode!

As expected, Bob wins the mini challenge, which sends Thorgy into a state of catatonia. Mama Ru then announces a Wizard of Oz style makeover event where the queens will glam up the cast of Lifetime’s Little Women: LA.  Each queen is paired up with a cast member and tasked with not only creating a couture look based on their character, but choreographing an interpretative dance for absolutely no reason! The whole premise of the challenge is whimsical and poorly thought out- a Drag Race staple.

Shit hits the fan real quick for our queens as they struggle to piece together their looks under the time constraints. At this point in the competition, it’s pretty clear which queens are capable of creating garments, and which ones can barely hot glue. Thorgy, Naomi, and Kim Chi whip up some fantastic looks, and the others….well, they all end up looking less Wizard of Oz and more “Atlantic City after a twister.” By that I mean they all look like cheap hookers. Robbie struggles to work a sewing machine, Derrick fails to do anything right, Chi Chi continues to not know what fashion is, and Bob freaks out about his makeup as if that’s something he’s executed well even without a time constraint. Not much else happens- the little women talk about being little, people talk about how hard it is being gay, and Naomi shows Dax how cosplay should be down with her polished Pidgeotto look in the workroom.

Our guest judges for the episode are Ross Matthews, Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc by Marc Jacobs featuring Marc by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, and Toddrick Hall, an incredibly gay YouTuber. Overall, the runway couture is less Raja and more Stacey Layne Matthews, which is my nice way of saying these girls look BAD! Season 7 was known for its fashion and lackluster performances- and now it’s safe to say Season 8 is the reverse. Here’s a rundown of the looks:

Chi-Chi: Prostitute caught in a paper shredder

Derrick: Horse Penis harajuku dumpster (but she hemmed this!)

Bob: Claire’s boutique employee who works strictly in the back room

Kim Chi: Black and White-oh so right.

Thorgy: NOT THAT BAD!

Naomi: High Fashion Hay Queen

Robbie Turner: Wig line wack job

As a whole, the looks are nothing to gag over, and the interpretative dance is the most hilariously awkward and shoehorned tack-on of any challenge in Drag Race herstory.  Naomi wins the challenge, which means they’re finally moving her out of the filler queen spot, and Kim, Thorgy, and Bob score safe or high. Unfortunately, Robbie, Derrick, and Chi Chi end up in the bottom 3 for their atrocious runways and inability to apply ANY of the judges critiques. Chi Chi isn’t putting in the work when it comes to her outfits, Robbie is miserably failing every challenge, and Derrick is incapable of being anything other than Britney. At this point- send them all home. We haven’t had a triple elimination- what would be more gag worthy than that?

Unfortunately, that is not what happens. Instead Robbie and Derrick are forced to battle it out to Icona Pop’s “I Love It.” Derrick does surprisingly well, and Robbie- GIRL, WHY YOU TAKE YOUR WIG OFF!? Haven’t you learned by now that the only time that is ever acceptable is when you have another wig underneath? It’s the biggest cardinal sin of Drag Race, so you have no right to be upset over RuPaul sending your ass home.

And there you have- six 6 lefts! Tune in next week to hear me discuss Derrick’s elimination!

QUEEN RANKINGS

Thorgy

Alright people, I’m 100% convinced now that Thorgy is getting the Alaska edit of the season, which means she’ll be winning the next challenge. Thorgy is funny, she can turn out an outfit, and she’s a magnetic performer. If she wants to win though she’ll have to get over her jealousy of Bob and channel that energy into slaying the rest of the challenges.

Bob

Bob didn’t deserve to be in the bottom 2 tonight, but her look was BAD. It seems that the pressure of the competition may finally be getting to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see her lip sync within the next few weeks, although it feels pretty safe to say she won’t be sashaying away.

Kim

Kim has been in the safety zone for almost every challenge this season. She’s doing her best in the acting challenges, she’s serving up great looks on the runway, but she’s not embracing the cutthroat attitude needed to win the competition. If she really wants to make top 3, the first thing she has to do is send Naomi packing because there’s only one spot for a fashion queen in the top.

Chi Chi

Chi Chi is a great performer, but at this point her story-line is becoming tired and transparent. We get it RuPaul, Chi Chi is poor and charismatic!! Chi Chi definitely has the underdog quality, but this is season 8- we aren’t just going to give the crown to another shit fashion queen like Jinkx Monsoon. If Chi Chi wants to win she needs to step up her game ASAP.

Naomi

Let’s be real, if Naomi didn’t win tonight they would have sent her ass home. My guess is that they are going to amp up her edit now to justify a top 3 spot. This entire season she’s been a filler queen, but maybe with this win under her belt she’ll have the fire needed to push to the top 3.

Derrick 

LOL at Derrick  being read by Michelle for saying his outfit was sewn- girl, we all know that was desperation and hot glue! With that being said, Derrick did turn it out in the lip-sync, and her breakdown on the main stage felt genuine. I get a feeling this show has been a lot more difficult for Derrick than he expected, and to an extent I sympathize, just not enough to think she should stay past next week.

Robbie 

Robbie  showed promise, but she didn’t deliver. Her looks were safe, her performances were underwhelming, and it felt like she was really only kept around for her confessionals. I’m sure she’s a great queen, but her credentials as a competitor were just not up to snuff.