On this week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race the unthinkable happened: Darienne “always wears a fucking potato sack as a dress” Lake made it into the top 4. And not only did she make into the top four but she sent home BendelaCreme, one of the top two competitors. Now I’m sure the producers did this to shake things up and create some unrest for the audience but it’s still a travesty. Expect me to be writing some hate mail to Khloe Kardashian. But before we can go further delve into this great injustice, let’s go back to the beginning….
After Joslyn Fox sashayed away, our queens found themselves participating in a shady puppet challenge. Each queen was given a puppet of a fellow competitor and expected to impersonate the other queen with it. Adore received Ben, Ben received Bianca, Bianca received Adore, Courtney received Darienne and vice versa. Ben won the mini challenge which gave her a slight upper hand for the main event. This week our queens are given yet enough sewing challenge, in fact they are expected to create three different looks in one day. Categories are Banjee Girl Bling, Platinum Card Executive Realness and Dripping in Jewels Eleganza. As the mini-challenge winner, Ben gets to assign each girl a jewel tone for their Eleganza look.
Adore has a minor breakdown once the challenge is revealed, doubting her sewing abilities and expressing fear that she’ll let down the judges yet again. After a helpful pep talk from RuPaul though she feels reenergized and back in the game. For the most part almost all of the queens are nervous about the challenge- creating three looks in that short period of time is damn near impossible. Especially when on top of that Ru tells them they have to choreograph and perform a ridiculously stupid opening number. And to top it all of they’ll be showcasing their fierceness for none other Bob Mackie and Khloe Kardashian.
As a challenge that has appeared in almost every previous season, it’s clear from the beginning how this episode is going to work. We all know (or should know) that the person you think would do the worst would do the best and vice versa. Adore Delano turns it on on the mainstage and is the only one to successfully sell the whole Banjee Girl Bling look to the audience. But let’s get real- we all know Adore dresses like that on a daily basis anyways. And as expected- Ben and Darienne, two of the whitest competitors in Drag Race herstory, embarrass themselves with their takes on ghetto realness while Courtney and Bianca fall somewhere in the middle. But when 3 out of the 5 queens are white you can’t really expect them to pull off a look of this nature. These girls ain’t banjee, RuPaul, they bougie!
For the second look, Platinum Card Executive Realness, Ben and Darienne fail yet again. Ben’s issue is that her looks come across as costumey and don’t embody the assignment while Darienne’s issue is that her body doesn’t look good…period. Adore’s look is kind of porn star esque but still manages to impress the judges more than Bianca’s perfectly crafted, albeit all too familiar ensembles. And Courtney is in the middle yet again because she doesn’t put in the work. For the final look, Dripping in Jewels Eleganza, Ben walks out in a classic Ben outfit while Darienne wears a Princess Leia inspired potato sack. Courtney’s look ends up being the most interesting of the group but Adore wins the challenge because her looks were better in general.
And here’s where we get to the travesty. Darienne and Ben are forced to lip sync for their lives to Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” which I might add is a TERRIBLE lip sync choice. And for the most part both queens fail to deliver. In all honesty, it would have made more sense to send both of them home a la Honey Mahogany/Vivienne Pinay. But nope- RuPaul decides to spare Darienne Lake, which is incredibly stupid considering there is NO WAY POSSIBLE that Darienne will win this competition. Every other queen besides her had two wins under their belt and Ben was in the top way more than Darienne ever was. But reality television isn’t fair or even real so I guess I’ll have to deal with Ben sashaying. And on an endnote- fuck you Santino (that’s just a general statement).
QUEEN RANKINGS
1. BIANCA DEL RIO
Bianca is the fan favorite of the season and while she may have stumbled in this episode, she’s still the fiercest competitor. The crown is completely in her grasp, now all she has to do is mix up her outfits a little bit and give the judges something they haven’t seen before.
2. ADORE DELANO
Adore has been the Alaska of this season and her underdog status makes her incredibly lovable. She really turned it for this challenge and she now has the momentum needed to push her into the top three. While I don’t think she’ll walk away with the crown, I think this show has done wonders for her and her career.
3. COURTNEY ACT
Courtney Act falls into third place by default. She’s not going to win at all because she has been very mechanical and superficial all season. She may be pretty but at this point her prettiness has become boring and I can guarantee you that next week it’ll be Courtney v. Darienne for the final spot in the top 3.
4. DARIENNE LAKE
Darienne redeemed herself a bit on this week’s episode of Untucked and was actually less shady than usual. But ain’t no fat queen gonna get farther into the competition than Ms. Latrice Royale. Enjoy your last day, Darienne.
5. BEN DE LA CREME
I’m sorry you were told to sashay away. You deserved so much better. Here’s to hoping you end up on All Stars 2!
Is this why I'm still single? 