This summer I took my first real foray into film in my Television Field Production. I learned (in theory) how to operate a camera, set up lights and use editing software. In reality, I learned how to press a record button and convince my roommate to set up lights for me. I took this course because film has always been an interest of mine. Before, my interest in film was strictly acting related- I wanted to be the next Spencer Breslin. But as I got older my love of film shifted from acting to writing. I no longer wanted to be the one reciting the lines, I wanted to write them. So I decided to take this course with the hope that I’d be able to cultivate my writing skills while learning the fundamentals of film. Because if I want to be the next Lena Dunham (but like skinny and less annoying) I need to know how to do it all: write, direct, produce, act and find opportunities to be nude.

Here Goes Nothing is a film based on a previous work I had written which was half autobiographical half LOGO special. And by that I mean that Charlie is playing a less flamboyantly gay version of me and Taylor is playing himself. It was filmed over the course of two days in my apartment and it was a BITCH to make. My two actors (as lovely as they are) had little grasp of the dialogue and it certainly didn’t help that I had no idea how to operate a tripod. I do think that they’re performances are notable, however, and that they are better in this than Lindsay Lohan was in anything she did after 2006. I am  also painfully aware that the shot choices are not all that interesting and that the lighting is a hot mess. But I can share this with some sense of pride- I mean after spending 12+ hours in a studio editing this shit I have to at least believe it’s passable.

This film taught me that I really have no interest in making my own movies. I’m far too lazy for that. But it did remind that I do love writing and that it’s something I’d like to explore in the future. Maybe someday I’ll even be able to take a screenwriting course and write my own film (which will star Natalie Portman of course).  And if not- I can always make my own scripted sex tape!