I’m Gay, You’re Gay. So what’s the problem?

It would be both an overstatement and an understatement to say that I hate other gay people. It would be an overstatement because many of my close friends identify as being gay or LGBTQ+. It would be an understatement because I loathe gay clubs and gay social circles more than Ariana Grande hates being photographed on her right side.

Now I could write an entire thesis on my problems with the gay community but for the sake of time I will only talk about a certain group: the Hunties. If you’re unfamiliar with the word “hunty” it’s simply a combination of the word “honey” and “c*nt”. It’s both a term of endearment and a rude nickname, much like the word “hun.” The Hunties are the members of the gay community, generally young males, who cannot for the life of them leave their sexuality at the door. They are the men who feel the need to scream “SLAYY” at the top of their lungs for no reason and willfully disclose their sexual history without anyone asking. And if you haven’t picked up on it by now, I’m not too fond of them.

I understand that being gay is still a big issue even in the liberal North. Despite how much we’ve progressed as a society, there are still people who irrationally hate or discriminate against homosexuals without just cause. But I like to think that we as people are much more than our sexuality. My issue with “Hunties” is that these people are the ones who create an identity based solely on their sexuality. Hunties are the people who define themselves by their sexuality, they are the ones that don’t feel comfortable in their own skin so they invent a new skin to exude false confidence and arrogance.

I know several “Hunties” and despite how individualistic they claim to be, I’ve found that they all act in the same fashion. “Hunties” dress flashily, love to employ backhanded compliments, talk solely in RuPaul’s Drag Race and delight in making others feel uncomfortable. “Hunties” thrive in social situations in which people give them attention out of sheer bewilderment. But I’ve noticed that when a “Hunty” is ignored, that their eyes become incredibly empty. It’s as if “Hunties” don’t know how to exist if they aren’t in the spotlight. They don’t know how to be low key because while they were performing this elaborate role they forgot who they actually were.

I firmly believe that being loud does not equate with having a personality. Anyone can play the role of an obnoxious, mean spirited bitch. But that’s not what being human is about. Being human is about putting yourself in vulnerable positions and letting others in. I sometimes think that certain people are so afraid to be themselves that they construct a version of themselves that others can hate. “Hunties” do this because they think if someone hates them that its because of the role they’re playing. It’s easier to accept that someone hates a character you play, rather than accept the fact that they in fact hate just you.

I used to hate “Hunties” because I believed they gave gay people a bad name overall. But then I realized that there is no homogenous gay which meant I couldn’t really hate these people for the way they represent themselves. It’s not my problem if a straight person sees a “Hunty” and then comes to the conclusion that all gay people are vapid or bitchy. If that’s the case, that person is too ignorant or stupid to realize that gays come in as many flavors just like straight people.

 

I don’t hate “Hunties”- I pity them. I feel bad for people who weren’t born with a personality or who are too intimidated to show their true colors. I feel bad for people who think telling other people’s jokes make them funny and I pity people who think how many sexual partners they have really matters in any sense. Although if I hear one more gay person say “YAAAAAAS” non-ironically I will hit them with a frying pan.

 

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