Why Our Parents Need To Stop Giving Us Unsolicited Advice

Our generation is constantly told that we’re a bunch of “know it alls” Our parents and older peers tell us that we’re reckless, stubborn, and entitled, which to be fair is slightly true. I know that our parents express concern because they care and I’m glad that they do- even if it can be extremely annoying. My mother is the type to CONSTANTLY tell me to practice safe sex and buckle up, even though I do those things anyways. And while its nice they don’t want us to get an STI and/or die, it can be very frustrating because their comments imply that we’re not smart enough to do these things without their urging.

Let me be clear, I don’t know everything. I really don’t know what a 401K is, I don’t understand taxes and I can only tie a tie while watching a tie tying Youtube tutorial (so much alliteration) And I’ll admit that I get annoyed easily because I’m stubborn. I don’t like being told what to do, even if what I’m being told to do is smart advice. I hate being told that I need to do something that I need to do, but that’s because it makes me feel like a child. I’m old enough now that I should in theory be smart enough to make these decisions. And if I don’t- well, that’s on me then, right?

Parents need to stop with the unsolicited advice, especially when it’s regarding things they don’t really know anything about. I get it- they care, and that’s fantastic. But they need to start trusting their GROWN children. My mom should be confident enough in her parenting abilities to know that I turned out pretty well. She should know that I am going to practice safe sex and she should understand that I don’t have a vested interest in, you know, having unprotected sex with 75 different guys in one night.

I don’t think early 20 somethings are fully secure in their identity. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do after school and where I should live and how I should spend my life. I’m nervous about the future because I haven’t really nailed the whole adult thing yet. What I do know is that I’m a smart individual and a good person. And when parents tell us things like “Buckle up”, “Use a condom”, “Don’t do that”, it makes us question who we are as people. It’s upsetting to thing that my mom thinks I’m dumb enough to not be safe. It’s even more upsetting for her to think I don’t have the moral compass needed to navigate situations like that. I get that she worries for me as a parent does, but maybe parents should worry silently.

Perhaps our generation would act less like we know it all if we were given more credit for what we do know. I’m at the point in my life where I no longer need constant advice or lecturing. I’m fucking twenty one years old! But I’m not so old that I don’t ever need advice. And when I do need that advice, you can bet your sweet ass that I will go to my mom for it. Parents just need to realize that even though we’re not kids anymore, we’ll always be their children. My mom isn’t any less of a parent because she doesn’t dress me anymore or make me buckle my seatbelt. But I’m more than just a kid now. I’m a GROWN woMAN.

1 Comment

  1. Hi, I accidentally found this by Google imaging Pocahontas lol, but I’m glad I found it. Very well written and I can definitely relate to every word. Granted it’s been a few years since I graduated but my parents’ insistence on seeing me as a child even now never fails to annoy. At the very least my mum at times is willing to see me as an adult, but my dad on the other hand always scolds me for “talking back to your father” a certain way or saying the word “bloody”. I agree parents need to give their children more leeway, especially when they’re not children anymore, but unfortunately they’re from a generation with a specific mindset that actually makes it difficult if not impossible to really change the way they look at us. That, and it probably doesn’t help that they have baby pictures of us they refer to from time to time lol šŸ˜›


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