1.) Give one word responses to everything
Dear men, if you don’t want to talk to us then just tell us! But for the love of Christ do not go out of your way to message me and then respond to everything I have to say with “Hah” or “Okay” It’s not like I asked you to write me a sonnet or a novel about your life. I just asked how your day was you, fuck head.
2.) Make everything about sex.
I get that men are horny and that they can’t go more than 5 minutes without thinking about putting their P somewhere but please men have some fucking tact. If you say “Hey” and I respond by saying “Hey back” it’s not an invitation for you to send me a picture of your weiner. If you want to get laid you’re going to have to do it the old fashioned way- by buying me dinner and telling me I’m pretty.
3.) Use “pretty” as a modifier
If you tell someone that they are “pretty cute” you’re basically insulting them, you know that, right? It’s basically saying “you’re pretty, but….” Don’t expect anyone to sleep with you if you essentially tell them that you think they’re too mediocre to actually like, but not ugly enough to pass up for sex.
4.) Wear clothes that don’t fit.
If women walked around wearing nothing but XXXXXL sweatshirts and jeans seven sizes too big we would crucify them. So why do men constantly dress like they are the victim of a shrink ray incident? I mean do men really want to dress like Eminem in 8 Mile?
5.) Entertain stupid people
FYI this article was written by a gay male so I’m not a self loathing woman or anything of that nature. With that being said, I can’t stand it when gays/girls purposely act stupid to get attention from guys…what I hate more is when guys give into it! People shouldn’t feel compelled to act like morons or classless fucks and guys should be mature enough to see through the act and not entertain it. We really don’t need any more dumb people in the world.
6.) Make fun of others to assert their own dominance.
Dear men, just because you see a confident guy walking down the street does not mean you should try to tear him down to make yourself feel better. Just because you feel uncomfortable with embracing your feminine side or facing up to your own insecurities doesn’t mean you have the right to be an asshole to everyone else.
7.) Listen/Support Country music
I really just think all straight people should apologize for this one.