1.) RPDR is your bible and you try to convert people to it harder than a Jehova’s Witness at a subway station.

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and motha RuPaul?

2.) 90% of what you say is just direct quotes from the show that you have somehow managed to slip into conversation.

*Me tripping and slamming my head into the concrete*

EMT: How’s your head?

Me: Fine.

3.) At least one song in your iTunes Top 25 Most Played is by a drag race alum, and roughly 30% of your entire library consists of songs by the queens; even songs by Manila Luzon that aren’t Hot Couture.

Hey, I have a really great album you should listen to; it’s called ANUS. Now hear me out….

4.) Your free time is spent lurking on Drag Race Reddit searching for potential spoilers and any and all conspiracy theories about the show.

Screen Shot 2015-12-15 at 9.06.03 AM

Tyra told everyone to kill themselves again? SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!

5.) You know Tullegate is more culturally significant than Watergate.

C’mon Shangie Drew!

6.) You will spend money you don’t have just for the chance of maybe talking to your favorite queen at Drag Con.

Okay  the line to meet Katya is 6 hours long, so we probably won’t get to meet her. But Porkchop’s line is nonexistent, so…..

7.)  You participate in the Drag Race equivalent of fantasy football and get way more aggressive about it than needed.

Alright well queen X looked funny in her MTQ vid and according to Reddit she’s a fierce seamstress, so I’m gonna wager my life’s savings that she’ll get top 5! AND IF I LOSE SO HELP ME GOD I WILL SLAY ALL OF YOU!

8.) There is no fate worse than Off Season.

RuPaul’s Drag Race isn’t on again for another six months? What am I supposed to? Go outside?! Venture to a bar and see local queens perform IRL?! FUCK THAT!

9.) You love to reference obscure performances by the queens that can only be found by scouring the most remote regions of You Tube.

“I love Kandy Ho”

“Oh you do! Have you seen her Robotika performance from 2013? It’s iconic and really representative of the Puerto Rican drag scene.”

10.) You donate to EVERY Kickstarter.

I will donate all of my money to Jasmine Master’s inevitable kickstarter for hot sauce.

11.) You’d sleep with every queen if given the chance.

TBH I’d let all of them (even Horchata Montrese) get up on this cheesecake, OKCURR?