Beyoncé
Queen Bey looks like a high-class Muppet escort and I am HERE FOR IT.
Kim Kardashian West & Kanye West
Kim is a dewy goddess. Kanye is a house painter.
Nicki Minaj
I don’t have any jokes prepared for this. Miss Minaj looks GOOD.
Britney Spears
Britney looks like Sharon Stone after she was thrown into a paper shredder.
Amber Rose
I didn’t know Steve Martin was coming to the show!
Naomi Campbell
I’ve heard of people stealing the hotel soap, but did you really have to go and steal the bathmat too, Naomi?
Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande is a human scrunchie.
Chance the Rapper
It’s so nice Chance offered to help Kanye paint that house.
Tinashe
Tinashe got in a fight with her curtain and lost.
Lance Bass
The sentiment is there…the style is not.
The USA Olympics Gymnastic Team
Proudly sponsored by Cache.
Ansel Elgort
If Hot Topic and Edward Scissorhands had a love child and aborted it during the second trimester.
P. Diddy
Kimo-no you better don’t.
Hailee Steinfield
Hailee is racially ambiguous so I don’t know if this appropriative or not.
Jaden Smith
You’ve got to be kitten me.
Alicia Keys
Alicia Keys is a fucking boss I ain’t got shit to say about this.
Nick Jonas
I love this—even if it does look like Nick stole his sweater from one of the Golden Girls.
Rita Ora
What’s a Rita Ora?
Fifth Harmony
Fifth Harmony or Mistress Support Group? The world may never know.
Dascha Polanco
It’s fitting that the worst part of Orange is the New Black would also be wearing the worst outfit of the VMA’s.
Tove Lo
Kirsten Dunst has seen better days.
Quvenzhané Wallis
Q looks like she’s playing a young Aunt Jemina in an upcoming biopic.
Baddie Wrinkle
Britney Spears’ look from the 2070 VMA’s.
Nick Cannon
All 3 of my wishes would be used to stop the monstrosity that is Nick Cannon.
Heidi Klum
Is Heidi Klum now hosting Duck Dynasty?
Frankie Grande
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
Farrah Abraham
Farrah was running late so she didn’t have time to change between her Wonder Woman XXX shoot and the VMA’s.
The cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2
YAAAAS KWEENS, show these hetero hot messes how glamour and camp is done! Come through! Slay meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Is this why I'm still single? 