Cinderella

She shops at thrift stores… and not for ironic hipster reasons

Mulan

Your reflection already showed us who you are inside- a LESBIAN.

Belle

She turned down the hottest guy in school to date a Kodiak Bear. Sounds legit.

Pocahontas

Bitch thinks she’s deep because she can paint with the colors of the wind.

Snow White

More like Hoe White.

Ariel

Will do anything to ride a “Dingle-hopper”

Princess Tiana

LOL she has to work for a living.

Rapunzel

Invisalign Before Shot.

Princess Jasmine

Too bad she can’t use her money to buy good taste in accessories (Newsflash bitch- bejeweled headbands are so not grool)