The Lecturer

This is the teacher who for some reason or another refuses to write on the board or use any type of visual aid. Instead, they spend the whole class period switching between lecturing about the course material, reminiscing about their time in the Vietnam War and going on tangents that have absolutely nothing to do with the course you’re taking


The Teacher That’s Way Too Happy To Be There

This is the teacher you usually get stuck with for your 8 am class. They’re friendly but way too high energy and every time they speak it’s like nails on a chalkboard. They’re usually a grad student or young adult that has failed to realize that I’m only in their class because I’m trying to fill an elective and not because I have any interest in their course.

The Teacher That Thinks They’re A Big Deal

This is the teacher who thinks they’re really cool just because they wrote a book that you can buy on Amazon for 99 cents. They usually have a concentration in something really irrelevant like “East Asian literature and its impact on the working class of San Francisco” and are unaware of the fact that no one actually cares.

The Teacher That Should Have Retired 45 Years Ago

This is the teacher who is just way too old to be teaching. They usually spend half the class lecturing on something they covered in the previous class and they only teach from textbooks that were written before 1990. They’re also the type of teacher who never responds to their emails and is impossible to contact outside of class. Mostly because they don’t know how to actually turn a computer on.

The Teacher That’s So Hot It Hurts

This is the teacher that is so bangeable it’s almost impossible to focus in class. They’re usually mediocre teachers but you could care less because you’re too busy admiring their firmly sculpted butt to actually listen to whatever they’re lecturing about.

The Teacher Who Shouldn’t Be A Teacher

This is the teacher that is incapable of making the material engaging, no matter how hard they try.  This teacher is usually really intelligent or an expert in whatever field they’re teaching, but unqualified to be an actual teacher. Mostly because they’re awkward as fuck and don’t know how to actually talk to people.

The Teacher That Hates You Almost As Much As They Hate Their Own Life

This is the teacher who would rather be torn apart by wild wolves than have to teach this class. They’re extremely pessimistic and easily irritable and snap at students without any reason. But you can’t really blame them- you’d hate the world if you were a math teacher.

The Teacher That Makes You Want To Be A Better Person

Occasionally we all get our own Mr. Feeney. This is the teacher who challenges the way we see the world and compels us to become a better human being. They can make even the most boring material fascinating and you look forward to attending every class because you can’t wait to see what life lessons are in store for you that day. They’re the teacher you look up to, not only because they’re a great teacher but because they’re a great human being.