Things I Do Instead of Doing My Homework

1. Have dance parties in my bedroom (preferably to “It’s Tricky” by Run- D.M.C)

2. Web MD all of the potential diseases I could have (Spoiler alert: It’s always cancer!)

3. Read the tumblr blogs of all the  people I can’t stand.

4. And think about how much of a better person I am than them.

Even though they’re out living their life and I’m sitting in my bed eating cookies.

5. Think about why boys don’t like me.

6. And how I’m going to end up alone and  a cat lady.

7. Imagine all the snacks I could be eating.

8. Give myself a facial- even though I’ll still be just as ugly as I was before I did it.

9. Facebook stalk all the people I had a crush on in high school and think about all of the sexual things I would have let them done to me.

10. Facebook stalk all the people from high school I hated.

11. And get joy out of seeing how fat they’ve become.

12. Watch  Netflix

13. Ponder the meaning of the universe.

But mostly it’s just a lot of this:

And if I’m lucky, sometimes I get to do this:

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