I wasn’t really sure how to feel going into my listening party of Miley Cyrus’ latest album “Bangerz”. To begin with, the album name confused me. After a deep analysis I came to the conclusion she is referring to the popular British dish “bangers and mash” (sausages and mashed potatoes). So if you take just the bangers part from it, that means she is referencing sausage which I took to mean one thing: Penis. Basically what Miley has done is cleverly name her album Penis’ but with a z. Aside from that, “Bangerz” is actually really sappy and sad. It is what I imagine to be every emotion Miley went through when she unfollowed Liam Hemsworth on twitter and simultaneously realized Billy Ray Cyrus will always be her father. However, through the river of tears, Miley reminds us that “she’s just being Miley” with these bizarre lyrics:
1. “4×4” ft. Nelly
“Driving so fast ’bout to piss on myself”
Wasn’t actually sure I heard this line correctly but luckily for all us visualizers she repeats herself. I’m a little concerned for Miley’s health. Is she going to get a UTI? Is this her ploy to get a sponsorship from UTI-Care?
2. SMS (Bangerz) ft. Britney Spears
“I let them know the rent’s due on the first. They can call a hearse.
‘Cause if there’s any violation, I go off with that”
Are these lyrics implying Britney is our landlord? Was that stint back is 07 her initiation into some Slumlord mafia that kills you if you don’t pay them? Honestly that makes way more sense than anyone ever procreating with KFed.
3. “My Darlin’” ft. Future
“Cause we gon’ make a movie, a movie And it’s gon’ be in 3D
Possibly the most disturbing of all the lyrics in which Miley tells us her plans of starring in some Pornographic films but not just any old porn but a 3D PORNO! Actually quite innovative and entrepreneurial of her if you think about it.
“Auf Wiedersehen, I got a lot of nasty things blowing up in my head”
Not actually that strange but I enjoyed it because it reminded me when Heidi Klum would say it to the losers on Project Runway. German bitch.