1.) They understand the importance of a good parody.
According to their website, godhatesfags.com, the WBC actually writes parody songs about God’s hate. Some of their featured songs include a parody of Girl on Fire (World on Fire), I Will Always Love You (God Will Always Hate You), Love Story (not to be confused with Love Story by Taylor Swift).
Here are the lyrics to the parody of “We R Who We R” entitled, “God Hates Who You Are”
Hot and dangerous
Where you’re goin‟ God will torch you up
Cause you always lie about God‟s love
Your cup is full, He‟s had enough
Hates you, of course He does
You‟re runnin‟ round town just like a slut
We preach, you don’t wanna mess with us
Christ Jesus will avenge us (us)
2. They’re straight to the point.
People these days are so PC and two faced that it’s often difficult to tell where you stand with someone. This isn’t a problem with the WBC. They make it clear that they and God hate pretty much everyone: Muslims, gays, Jews, the media and people who wear white after Labor Day.
On that note…
3. They’re the mouthpiece of God.
Without the WBC, I wouldn’t know that God hates me. In fact the WBC was kind of enough to tell us why God hates every single country.
Here are some countries that God hates and the reasoning behind it.
Iceland: “They have an active gay rights movements and a large annual gay rights parade. God Hates Iceland!!”
United Kingdom: issued a ban to keep WBC out of the country, saying they will be stopped by immigration officials on arrival and [sent] back to the U.S.
China: They openly accept and promote homosexuality, an abomination before God (Leviticus 18:22), and they will reward themselves with evil once the cup of their iniquity is full.
4. They understand that a good barber shop quartet never goes out of style.
Because if you’re going to sing “God Hates Fag”, at least make it pleasing to the ear.
5. They give us someone to hate.
Nothing brings people closer together than hatred for a common enemy. Republicans, Democrats, Blacks, Whites, Asians, we can all pretty much agree that the WBC is just the plain worst. Even the KKK doesn’t like the WBC and if the KKK thinks you’re offensive that means you’re doing something wrong.
6. Fred Phelps is a HOTTIE.
I know he’s 82 and a bigot and everything, but he can still get it.
Look at that hat. And those piercing blue eyes.
The only thing violent is my love for you, Freddy.