1. You’re willing to go out to eat with anyone willing to pay for you. Even if it’s your worst enemy. In fact, I’ve gone out to dinner with people I hate with every fiber of my being solely because they were willing to buy me Panera Bread.

2. The wait staff at your favorite restaurant knows you by your first name and order by heart…. and ask you if something’s wrong when you order something besides your usual meal.

3. Instead of your wallet being full of JCrew, Express or H&M gift cards, it’s full of Chipotle, Panera Bread and 5 Guys gift cards.

4. You’ve gone more than two days in a row only eating take out or fast food.

5. The thought of eating your favorite food brings you more joy than the thought of having a significant other or friends.


6. Whenever someone in your friend group asks what you should do for an activity you immediately suggest going to the Cheesecake Factory.

7. You are aware that you use food as a way of trying to fill a void in your life and you’re okay with that.

8. You know that salad isn’t real food and you hardcore judge anyone you go out to eat with who orders it.

9. Cheese is your religion.

10. You’re broke as fuck with nothing to show for it- except a wardrobe of clothes that no longer fit your fat ass.