And on the third day, God answered our prayers and put an end to the two premiere bullshit so that we could enjoy the drag race we’ve all come to love. This episode our two groups of queens finally met in a battle of shade that was too perfect to ignore. And by that I mean it was mostly wonky eyed Gia making rude comments while the other queens like Bianca and Courtney laughed at her behind her back for looking like Kimora Lee Simmons… you know if Kimora had been caught in the middle of a hurricane. It’s obvious from the beginning that the cliques have already been formed, which is evident from the fact that team leaders Milk and Adore only choose people from their premiere as their teammates. What’s great about this episode is that it includes this season’s first acting challenge, a screen test for a campy horror movie entitled, “Drag Race Me To Hell.” I mean decapitated heads, butch lesbians and 80s lingo- what’s not to love?
As soon as the teams begin working it’s clear who will fail to deliver. April is forced to play a butch character which is unfair because girl is so feminine she farts glitter. Gia is as illiterate as you would expect and Vivacious is just plain awful in every way. Joslyn, Ben, Courtney and Bianca nail the challenge but Darienne wins for giving good head (she plays a head in a box). Laganja, Milk, Trinity, Kimora Lee Kardashian and Adore deliver lackluster performances but it’s April and Vivacious who are forced to lip sync in the end. Vivacious is sent home packing but don’t worry Vi, #Ornacia has dinner for you waiting at home.
Bianca: Bianca’s drag look may be inspired by Joan Crawford/Bozo the Clown but she’s the clear frontrunner in this competition. She’s well dressed, quick witted and has the personality and maturity needed to grab the crown. And despite her bitchy exterior she’s actually extremely nice and professional.
Courtney: While Courtney might not have the most inspired of runways, she’s the prettiest of the competitors and can essentially do everything but sew. Courtney needs to show though that she’s more than just a pretty blonde and that she can be vulnerable and relatable as well.
Ben: Ben de la Crème is the Jinkx Monsoon of this season but actually pretty and capable of dressing herself. She’s funny and talented- her only downside is that she can be a bit irritating with her sometimes over the top demeanor.
April: While April may have fumbled in this challenge, she’s beautiful and has the bubbly personality needed to win the competition. In fact, I think she was deliberately given the role of butch queen because Adore was threatened by her and wanted her to end up in the bottom #justice4bottoms
Milk: How far Milk gets in this competition depends entirely upon how long RuPaul and the judges like her style. Milk is bold and outrageous but her performances don’t always hit the mark. Let’s hope her risks pay off.
Laganja: Laganja- very talented but annoying as fuck. Laganja may be a good dancer but her obnoxious, immature personality and crocodile tears make her one of the most unlikable queens in the bunch. I’m praying that she’ll fuck up a challenge so Ru can tell her to sashay away.
Adore: Adore may have been a terrible team leader but she’s clearly a talented actress and we all know she can sing. Adore definitely has star power but she’s so new to drag that she may not be polished enough to win the competition. Personality can only get you so far, gurl.
Darienne Lake: Despite Darienne’s win this week I think she is one of the weaker competitors of this this season. Her outfits are tired and cheap looking and while she manages to work her big girl persona it doesn’t seem like she can keep it going.
Joslyn: Joslyn is the cutest little thing and she means well but it’s obvious that she’s new to drag and that she lacks the experience necessary to get her through the competition. Let’s hope she sticks around for a few more episodes though-watching her gag is hilarious.
Gia Gunn: Gia is the bitch of this season but she’s so dumb that she somehow comes across as being likeable. She may be pretty but her whole “I’m better than you” attitude isn’t going to get her far in the competition and relying on looks is a big no no on drag race.
Trinity: Trinity is pretty but she’s delusional as fuck if she thinks she’s as hot as Beyonce.While Trinity may have done well in season 2 or 3 like Tyra or Raja, her reliance on outer beauty will lead to her sashaying early on.