1. Please God, don’t let me run into any people that I know.

2. Why does everyone and their mother have to be here right now?

3. I’m completely surprised by what people think is acceptable to wear out into public.

4. Yo bitch with the flip flops, it’s 30 degrees out and raining why the hell are you wearing those?

5.  I’m pretty sure I hate almost every single person here.

6. I’m also pretty sure that the scrambled eggs they serve in the dining hall are not actually made out of egg.

7. Is it acceptable to eat fries this early in the day?

8. Oh shit it’s that girl from my Math class.

9.  Look down, look down, look down.

10. Crap, we made eye contact.

11. This is extremely uncomfortable.

12. Okay fine bitch don’t say hi.

13.  I hope people don’t realize that I haven’t showered.

14. I already know that this food is going to be disappointing and I haven’t even tasted it yet.


16.  I’ll just sit at the end of this table.

17. Do people think I’m a loser because I’m eating lunch by myself?

18. Whatever, I hate everyone.

19. Literally all I ever eat here is Pizza.

20.  The fact that my meal swipe is worth 16 dollars makes me want to kill myself.

21. Good thing I brought tupperware containers so I can steal this shit.

22. #imtakingallofyourfrostedflakesbitches

23. Dining hall sushi shouldn’t be a thing.

24. Man, there are a lot of ugly people in here right now.

25. Except for that gentleman. He can get it.

26. I just consumed 2500 calories, didn’t I?

27.  Look at that little twig bitch eating all of that shit. FUCK YOU AND YOUR METABOLISM!

28. At least I’m not as fat as that guy over there.

29. I’m a really superficial person, aren’t I?

30. They’re playing Judge Judy on the screen! I LOVE Judge Judy!

31. Time for fro-yo!

32. #huncalfroyo

33. I’ve been here for over an hour.

34. My life is pathetic.

35. I can’t wait until I get my own kitchen so I don’t have to eat this shitty food anymore.

*** 1 year later

 Fuck, I hate cooking for myself.