30 Thoughts You Have While In A Gay Club

1.) Oh God, why did I come here this was such a mistake!

2.) Why is everyone wearing a white v-neck?

3.) Evolution likes to suggest that humans evolved from apes but looking at some of these gentlemen I can’t help but think that gays evolved from reptiles.

4.) Am I dressed appropriately for something like this? Like I want my outfit to say, “I’m cute and know how to have a good time but would rather be dead than touch any of you sexually”

5.) No one better try to dance with me.

6.) I can’t tell if everyone in this room is 25 or 55.

7.) Please, play another Lady Gaga remix, I beg of you!

8.) I really hope I don’t run into someone I know from here.

9.) Oh God, there’s a kid from school. Please, don’t  see me.

10.) Old man plz stop staring at me, I’m not going to go home with you.

11.)  Gay men are so slutty.

12.) Why is there  a straight couple making out? Why is there a straight couple even here?

13.) FAG HAG ALERT!!!!!!!!!

14.) Maybe if I have 4 rum and cokes I’ll be drunk enough to be okay with being here.

15.) Half the men here are old to be my grandfather.

16.) Oh no, there’s a guy looking at me. I DON’T WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU, SIR!

17.) Maybe I should do that middle school dance thing girls do and say I can’t dance with someone because I have to use the restroom.

18.) I’m sure there’s a glory hole somewhere in here.

19.) I really hope I’m not photographed. I don’t need anyone knowing I ever go to places like this.

20.) Okay, why is everyone shirtless now? Did I miss something?

21.)  At least there’s some drag queens here to provide me with some entertaining.

22.) LOL JK they are just as unfortunate as the rest of the reptiles here.

23.) But really are there any cute guys here?

24.) There’s one!

25.) Oh wait, that’s a lesbian……..

26.) Why is it that the only people who want to dance with me are the ones who make me feel the urge to vomit uncontrollably?

27.) Maybe I should just trying to be straight again.

28.) Why send a gay kid to a “Pray Away The Gay” camp when having him go to a gay club in Boston would just have the same effect?

29.) I’m so glad I’m going home alone tonight.

30.) Who wants pizza?!


  1. AAAAAHAHHAHAHA this is so perfect!! I’m not sure what the clubs are like in your neck of the woods, but here in ‘Straya it’s pretty much the same… well, except in Sydney. In Sydney everybody is basically just plastic and topless. They all have pretty much the exact same figure, which really, I guess feeds their own narcissistic desires to basically just want to fuck themselves. *ugh* just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. Gays can be so gross sometimes.

    Oh, and instead of pizza, I usually suggest nacho’s or ice cream. hehehe.


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