1.) The proctor who can’t bring herself to say “you’re welcome” when you thank her for letting you into the building…or who you know, looks at you like you’re the worst thing on Earth because you’re making her do her basic job of swiping a card.

2.) The classmate who emails you after every class to check what the homework is because  he was apparently in a deep state of meditation when the professor went over it.

3.) The international student who feels compelled to remind you every five seconds that she grew up in a ton of countries and that she is oh so much more worldly than you.

4.) The kid who is SO dumb that he makes you question whether or not your university is worth attending.

5.) The guy who takes the last of the tater tots in the dining hall because apparently he deserves two platefuls of them.

6.) The girl who wanders around campus in work out clothes despite the fact that she clearly has NEVER set foot inside the gym.

7.) The teacher who picks on students randomly….bitch, if I don’t have my hand raised it means I don’t have anything to say, okay?!

8.) The lunch lady who makes you feel fat when she puts incredibly small portions on your plate in comparison to everyone else.

9.) The overly PC guy who uses “social justice” as a way of cutting people down and making himself seem smarter.

10.) Each and every single person who works at the University that delights in sending you all around to different offices on campus to get the simplest thing done.

11.) The girl  with shitty ombre hair who you have to sit behind in class every day.

12.) The guy who has to lift 450 pounds at the gym just to show everyone that he’s most likely on steroids.

13.)  The drunk freshmen who won’t pipe the fuck down at 4 in the morning.

14.) The girl in your group project who doesn’t know how to do anything.

15.) The random roommate that doesn’t understand how the garbage/dish washer/general cleanliness work.

16.) The girl who feels the need to raise her hand EVERY time an opinion based question is asked in class.

17.) The drunk guy who accidentally pours all of his beer on you as he stumbles by at a party.

18.) The RA who bugs you to go to her events all the time….I don’t want to bob for apples with you, bitch!

19.) The basic girl in class who only knows how to voice basic opinions…Also side note: You can’t call someone basic if you are basic yourself! If you’re basic you don’t get to have an opinion. So go grab your PSL, sit, and pipe the fuck down.


20.) The guy who feels the need to try and whisper to you the (wrong) answer to a question you were just asked.

21.) The teacher who explains the most basic concepts to students thinking that it’s somehow revolutionary

The other day my professor suggested Google Images as a way to find maps. THANKS FOR THE TIP, SIR!