The 6 Greatest Holiday Struggles

1.) Cramming in a month’s worth of Christmas movies in two days.

For some reason colleges like to prolong final exam torture for as long as possible, which means that when you finally get home you’re forced to cram all of your holiday season celebrations into one week. In ten days you’re expected to watch every holiday movie- including the whole Harry Potter series (because that’s for some reason that’s a Christmas thing now) as well as all of those claymation movies that we all pretend are great but secretly hate because they’re creepy as shit.

2.) Buying presents

There are several reasons why buying holidays presents is the worst. For starters, it requires you to spend money…money you most likely no longer have because of #blackfriday #poorlifechoices #latenightpizza. And you not only have to buy gifts for your immediate family or significant others, you have to buy gifts for your grandparents, your best friends, and your annoying relatives who you feel obligated to buy a gift for because they bought you one. Another issue arises when you have to decipher how much the other person spent on the gift they got you and how much you have to spend in return. Because let’s face it, whoever said it’s the “thought that counts” was full of shit. If you’re giving me something thoughtful you better be leaving me the receipt, bitch.

3.) Knowing what to ask for

This is arguably the most stressful part of the holiday if you’re an indecisive person. You’re forced to try to come up with a list of things that you probably don’t need or want just because you know you have to in order to celebrate the holiday properly. And then you get stressed out once you discover the things you actually want but can’t ask for now that it is too late. So you end up getting presents you don’t want, not getting things that you need, and having to act like American materialism isn’t tearing you apart from the inside out.

4.) Holiday Parties

Sometimes holiday parties are fun. Emphasis on the sometimes. The worst parties are the ones where you have to interact with people you see once a year at most. I’m talking about the type of parties where you are asked repeatedly how school is and whether or not you’re dating someone…Newsflash: I’M NOT! Instead of spending time with the people you actually love, you’re pushed to mingle with people who really don’t care about your existence and forced to engage in petty small talk over dumb topics. But there is a bright side if you’re 21- free alcohol! And if you’re lucky your parents are the ones that drove you there, so you can get super smashed without worrying about crashing your car!

5.) Staying Healthy

I know a lot of people say that it’s okay to cheat during December and stop exercising/eat every holiday cookie in sight. And if you’re one of those people who is looking to NOT put on 10 pounds before returning to school, you’re most likely going to get the shit judged out of you if you decide to be health conscious during the holiday. You’ll either be chastised for being too skinny or be seen as being snobby. But remember, eating healthy during December is worth it. Why is it, you ask? Well  if you eat healthy during December you can go to the gym less in January which means you can avoid all of those terrible people who made a New Years Resolution to be fit in 2015. Because let’s face it- those people will ultimately fail at their resolutions and their monopolization of the treadmills will have been for nothing.

6.) Listening to people argue over the ‘PC’ nature of the holidays

The worst part of the holidays by far is listening to people rant about how awful it is that they can no longer say “Merry Christmas” whenever they feel like it. Is it really that hard to say “Happy Holidays”? Like will Christmas be so invalidated if you don’t run around screaming its praises every three seconds? Seriously eat your holiday cookies and shut the fuck up. And if you really feel the need to shove a holiday down people’s throats pick a more unique holiday like Kwanzaa because at the end of the day “Why fit in when you were born to stand out” (a paraphrased quote from the Hilary Duff classic Raise Your Voice).

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