The Most Heinous Status Updates From 2007-2009

As a self professed narcissist, I enjoy spending my time revisiting all the witty posts I’ve written. And while I was scrolling through my timeline the other night I decided to travel back to the 2007, to see if my posts were as quippy then as they are now. As I did this,  I discovered something  horrifically delightful- my old statuses are TERRIBLE. They’re illiterate, unnecessary, and just so so so so so so fucking bad. I’ve decided to post my best/worst statuses from 2007-2009, to show you just how awful I used to be. I hope this list inspires you to go back and time and remind yourself of how awkwardly lame you probably were back then. It’s a real treat.

2007

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I was very existential in ’07.

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SRSLY WHO NEEDS A FUCKING SHIRT?!

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Judging how big I was back then I don’t doubt this.

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RIP Madame Zeroni

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Well put.

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I was probably thinking about Zac Efron tbh.

2008

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Kill me.

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Like why did I think this was a necessary thing to post?

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I know that tom is just short for tomorrow in this case but I really wish this post was about some guy named Tom…would have made things more dramatic.

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But it’s like rain on your wedding day!

2009

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Check your fuckin’ privilege, Diddle!

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Thanks for the clarification.

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Many a sleepless night keeping my crops alive.

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In what way? WHERE’S THE CONTEXT?

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Lol BAI C U NEVER.

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