25 People You Should Totally Unfriend on Facebook

1.) The girl who shares Onion articles like she’s Christiane Amanpour without knowing how insufferably dumb she is.

2.) The guy who posts statuses about Tom Brady as if they’re somehow great friends.

3.) The girl who’s all like “Well liek Caitlyn Jenner isn’t a real woman until he gets sergeries”

4.) The friend of a friend of a friend who once went to your CCD class and then sent you a friend request ten years later.

5.) The girl you always knew would be a lesbian (who ended up being a lesbian) but like that’s pretty much all you know about her.

6.) The guy who peaked in middle school.

7.) The person who will NEVER like your blog page despite “liking” a post every time you share it on your own personal account.

8.) The person you only keep as a friend solely because their life is just so deliciously awful that it makes you automatically feel better about yourself when you read their statuses

9.) That girl you met at one club meeting who never came back.

10.) Your best friend’s ex boyfriend who you only kept as a friend because you secretly thought he was hot.

11.) The girl with the extremely questionable eyebrows.

12.) Your friend’s dad who overstepped his boundaries by sending you a friend request.

13.) The guy you’ve only ever interacted with on Facebook.

14.) The girl who invites you to every Facebook event she throws EVEN though you’ve never gone to a single one and have no intention of ever going.

15.) The girl who wears $500 Lululemon to the gym just to stretch for 30 seconds so she can justify eating a bagel to herself.

16.) The guy you went to high school with who never grew out of being a noodle dick motherfucker….

17.) The girl who posts statuses telling people her phone is broken…bitch, if people need to get in contact with you they will!

18.) Your little sister’s high school friend you’ve never met who friend requested you for God knows why.

19.) The guy who somehow missed the memo that Jesus was a pretty kewl dude.

20.) Any hoodrat from Beverly, MA.

21.) The guy who literally, figuratively and metaphorically lost his mind and now only posts conspiracy theories.

22.) The girl who strictly posts BuzzFeed article links to her wall with the caption “OMG THIS IS SO ME!”

23.) The girls you once worked at a Pinkberry with who only post UTTER GARBAGE on their walls.

24.) The guy who starts every morning with a beer shower.

25.) LITERALLY ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T ACTIVELY SUPPORT MY INEVITABLE SUPERSTARDOM!

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