Why I Threatened People Into Liking My Blog

If you’re following Is This Why I’m Still Single on Facebook, which you all should be by now, you may have noticed that I employed a rather unusual marketing technique a few weeks ago: I threatened the fuck out of everybody to get “likes”. I wrote a status saying that I would defriend any people in my network that had yet to “like” my blog. It was a pretty aggressive move, I have to admit, but it ultimately worked in my favor. By the end of the week I had 50 more “likes” and traffic to the site had increased significantly. The best part- I got the “likes” without actually having to defriend anyone!
I employed such an aggressive tactic because I was frustrated how little my blog was growing. I was frustrated that my Facebook friends, the people who told me how much they loved my posts, were flat out ignoring invitations to the blog and I was depressed that I was putting in so much effort and getting so little in return. I felt like people didn’t get that my blog wasn’t just a hobby, that it was my attempt at making a living for myself so when I was ignored or rejected I felt like people were basically saying, “we like your stuff but we don’t care enough to actively support you.”
While I was surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon a quote that changed my outlook on the situation: “know your worth and demand three times that.” I realized that I was effectively providing free entertainment to an audience of unsupportive people and that I didn’t need to do that. If people really wanted to read my posts they could take two seconds out of their day and “like” my blog and if they were unwilling to do so then they didn’t deserve to read my stuff!
We all know that social media is built upon weak ties. Our Facebook friends don’t owe us anything nor should we expect anything from them. At the same time, however, our social media networks can be valuable resources if we use them to our advantage. I’ve spent years cultivating a social media image and have invested way too much time in being funny just to entertain; I’m more than entitled to now ask for support in return for all of the laughs (or lack thereof). It doesn’t matter if your Facebook friends love you or think you’re annoying as fuck, they are a captive audience who can be persuaded into doing what you want if you approach things in the right way.
I threatened people because I thought I deserved better and it turns out I did. If I hadn’t done what I did, I wouldn’t have gotten 50 more likes. The fact of the matter is people are lazy and will only do what you want if you pressure them to. At the end of the day you won’t get something unless you ask for it, and while you may feel like the crying kid in the candy store from time to time, remember that sometimes annoying behavior is rewarded. I mean think about all of those annoying little fuckers you’ve seen at the grocery demanding for their parent to buy them candy- chances are they got it.

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