Ranking of Young Male Singers From Most To Least Appropriate To Crush On

1.) Justin Bieber (21)

We’ve all seen the Calvin Klein ad and definitely considered taking a screenshot of his nude Insta pic. Our favorite piece of canuck man meat is 22 years old, which means he’s closer to 25 than he is to 16, so don’t feel perverted for any sexy time thoughts you may have about him.

 

2.) Troye Sivan (20)

Twenty year old Troye Sivan looks like basically every teenage boy at an underage gay club. There’s an entire porn category dedicated to guys who look like him. So I guess what I’m saying is that it’s okay to find him attractive? Anyways, he dated Tyler Oakley, who is twenty six, so anything is fair game.

 

3.) 5 Seconds of Summer (18, 19, 20)

Who cares if 5sos looks like the bargain brand version of One Direction? They’re all over 18! So if you’re Hot Topic garbage you have my permission to imagine having an orgy with them.

On a side note:

I’m sweating more than a sinner in church rn.

4.) Austin Mahone (19)

Austin Mahone is a less talented, more grimy version of Justin Bieber. He kind of looks like the kid who asked you to give him a hand-job back in 7th grade, but he’s 19, so it’s okay to ogle away!

5.) Cody Simpson (18)

The only thing I know about Aryan poster child Cody Simpson is that he dated Gigi Hadid. I’d rather fantasize about her than him, but to each their own!

6.) Grayson Chance (18)

I was still under the impression that Grayson chance was 13 years old, but apparently  he’s 18. Bad news though- he just turned 18, so he’s definitely a high school senior. And if I’ve learned anything from that one J-Lo movie, it’s that high school boys are NOT worth it.

7.) Shawn Mendes (17)

WHY ARE YOU SO YOUNG SHAWN MENDES?! If you’re not in high school, it’s okay to find Shawn Mendes attractive, but un-kosher to imagine him nude!  To combat any urges you may have for him, just listen to “Stitches” while receiving electroshock therapy. It’ll help dissuade any dirty feelings you may have.

In conclusion:

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