Welcome back to RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Rucap where I discuss the horror, heartbreak, and hilarity of episode. But before we discuss the shocking departures and life-changing lip-sync, let’s go back to the beginning.
The episode starts off with our queens reconvening in the workroom following Coco’s elimination, a decision that the competitors (and audience) agree to have been the right one. As the queens de-drag it becomes crystal clear that this iteration of Drag Race will be like no other. Blood will be shed, wigs will be tossed, and legacies will be tarnished, and the brutal competition may prove to be too much for queens like Adore, who is still in complete shell-shock from Michelle’s savage mainstage critiques.
Mama Ru arrives in the workroom to announce an unexpectedly-early Snatch Game with special season 2 guests Raven and JuJubee. As any die-hard fan would know, Snatch Game is the quintessential “make or break” moment of the season, and an opportunity for queens to solidify their standing as top dog or floater. But as this season is all about ru-demption, Snatch Game is also a chance for queens like Phi Phi, Detox, and Alyssa to atone for their horrific past performances.
All of the queens eagerly prepare for the challenge, with the exception of Adore, who is a blubbering mess in the corner. Adore reveals to Mama Ru that she is considering leaving the competition, as she is unable and unwilling to compromise on her drag aesthetic or deal with the scrutiny from judges. Ru attempts to convince Adore to stay, but it’s clear that Adore’s mind is completely made up, and even after a tearful heart-to-heart with Michelle, she decides to depart. The queens are noticeably shook, but have too much to do to truly dwell on it.
What’s surprising about this Snatch Game is that previous top-performers fail and former-flops flounder as well. The only people who truly do well are the ones who came in the middle of the pack the first time around. Alaska’s Mae West is sexy and raunchy, Katya serves up a hilariously bizarre (and accurate) version of Björk, and Alyssa truly steals the show with her ridiculous Joan Crawford. Phi Phi flatlines as the Long Island Medium, Detox further proves that Nancy Grace should never be on Snatch Game, and Ginger fades into the background as Tammy Faye Bakker. Roxxxy and Tatianna, two queens who excelled at their Snatch Games, fail with their performances as Alaska and Ariana Grande.
The runway category for the mainstage is “Latex Eleganza”, which has our queens serving up slinky, sexy, and fashion-forward looks. Katya offers up sexy seafoam mermaid, Detox gags us with her raccoon realness, and Alaska gives us chic and avant-garde alien aesthetics. Phi Phi is the only queen that fails to deliver a gag-worthy look, offering up a basic leotard with cheap rubber duck accessories. Katya and Alaska are named the top two, leaving the fate of Roxxxy, Detox, and Tatianna in their perfectly manicured hands.
Our queens regroup in the workroom and Alaska and Katya give the bottom queens an opportunity to plead their cases. It’s safe to say our top queens are in quite a predicate since there is no clear-cut loser in the bunch. Roxxxy tanked Snatch Game the hardest, but had an adequate runway, and Tatianna performed mediocrely in both departments. Detox, on the other hand, gave an adequate performance, in fact; Phi Phi should have been in the bottom instead of her. But that’s a conversation for a later time. It’s heartbreaking to watch Tatianna break down in front of her fellow competitors at the idea of sashaying away before she can show America what she has to offer. As an early season queen, Tatianna’s been relatively forgotten by the fanbase, and All Stars offers her the opportunity to really recapture America’s attention. Being sent home this early would arguably ruin any true chance at ru-demption.
Alaska and Katya duke it out to “Le Freak” by Chic, which turns out to be one of the greatest lip-syncs in the series’ history. Both queens offer up hilarious camp, but Alaska captivates the judges just a bit more and wins the challenge. As a result, Tatianna is sent packing. But don’t fret children, there’s still a chance for her to return for her ru-venge.
QUEEN RANKINGS
1.) Alaska
If it wasn’t clear before, it is now: Alaska is the most versatile and adaptable queen in the competition. She slayed Snatch Game, won over the judges with her high fashion runway look, and is continuing to prove that she is an unstoppable force in this competition.
2.) Katya
Katya’s anxiety and self-doubt robbed her of the season 7 crown, but now she’s back and ready to show America what she has to offer. She crushed Snatch Game, wowed us with her unique runway, and showed us that a confident Katya is a fierce contender.
3.) Alyssa
Alyssa Edwards may not have been a top contender in season 5, but she sure is slaying the competition this time around. She was outstanding as Joan Crawford, and she’s been the highlight of the season so far with her congenial nature and hilarious commentary. She’s not a seamstress or a singer, but she’s a fierce competitor, and could very well snatch the crown.
4.) Ginger
As far as queens go, Ginger has received very little screen-time thus far. She’s been consistent in challenges, but in a season full of all-stars she’s yet to really stand out. Ginger should have crushed these past two challenges, but she didn’t, and that should be cause for concern.
5.) Detox
Out of the bottom three, Detox was arguably the best performer. Sure her Snatch game sucked, but her runway look was the gaggiest one of the bunch. Queen may not know how to act, but she sure as hell knows how to turn out a damn-good garment.
6.) Roxxxy
Oh how the mighty have fallen! Roxxxy seriously bombed Snatch Game with her performance of Alaska, offering up what may be one of the worst performances to date. With that being said, her runway was fantastic, and I’m sure she’ll do better next week.
7.) Tatianna
Let’s be real, Tatianna was not the worst performer this episode. Her Snatch Game was bad, but her overall performance was better than the likes of Roxxxy and Phi Phi. Tatianna’s self-doubt proved to be her undoing in this episode, but I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing her return to the competition sometime soon.
8.) Phi Phi
If the objective of this season is to ru-deem yourself, Phi Phi sure is missing the mark. From her lackluster runway to her mind games and meddling, it’s becoming clear that Phi Phi hasn’t changed all that much since her season. My only fear is that talented queens will be sent packing before Phi Phi so she can be kept around as a villain.
9.) Adore
Adore is a talented queen, but she gave up. Yes, critiques suck, and yes they were way too harsh, but that’s no reason to leave the competition. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!
Is this why I'm still single? 