The 16 Reasons Why I’m Still Single

The 16 Reasons Why I’m Still Single

#FOREVERALONE

1. This is what I look like when I exercise:

2. I’m incapable of keeping food in my mouth.

3. My wardrobe consists solely of things I found in the sales rack at Target.

4. And all of my jeans are from Abercrombie Kids

5. I dance like a dad (more specifically a white dad at a bat mitvah)

6. I’ve cried while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race….and Flavor of Love: Charm School

7. I’ve gotten diarrhea from eating at  “The Rainforest Cafe”… on multiple occasions.

8. I have Disney Princess stickers all over my wall.

9. I connect more on an emotional level with dogs than I do people.

10. I’m incapable of doing things that most people are able to do. Like laundry….and cooking…. and basic addition…

11. This is what I consider good flirting.

12.  I look like a 14 year old boy who accidentally walked onto a college campus.

13. I occasionally dress up like a woman.

14. This is how I interact with boys.

15. I constantly remind people I’m a virgin….

16. And that I’ve gotten diarrhea from eating at “The Rainforest Cafe”… on multiple occasions.

In conclusion:


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