The 16 Reasons Why I’m Still Single
1. This is what I look like when I exercise:
2. I’m incapable of keeping food in my mouth.
3. My wardrobe consists solely of things I found in the sales rack at Target.
4. And all of my jeans are from Abercrombie Kids
5. I dance like a dad (more specifically a white dad at a bat mitvah)
6. I’ve cried while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race….and Flavor of Love: Charm School
7. I’ve gotten diarrhea from eating at “The Rainforest Cafe”… on multiple occasions.
8. I have Disney Princess stickers all over my wall.
9. I connect more on an emotional level with dogs than I do people.
10. I’m incapable of doing things that most people are able to do. Like laundry….and cooking…. and basic addition…
11. This is what I consider good flirting.
12. I look like a 14 year old boy who accidentally walked onto a college campus.
13. I occasionally dress up like a woman.
14. This is how I interact with boys.
15. I constantly remind people I’m a virgin….
16. And that I’ve gotten diarrhea from eating at “The Rainforest Cafe”… on multiple occasions.