What’s that you say? You have a midterm worth 30% of your grade tomorrow and you haven’t started studying? Well do what I do: listen to “Work Bitch” on loop until your ears bleed. The song provides the ultimate motivation. Every time I listen to it I feel like Britney is personally chastising me for being a lazy hoe, so when I hear her say, “you better work bitch” I take it to heart. Who knew a Britney Spears guilt trip would be the ultimate motivator?
You wanna a hot body? You want a Bugatti? You better “work bitch”. Britney reminds us that we have to actively pursue our goals and that everything is attainable if we’re willing to put in the work. If you want to be fit, go to the gym. Don’t complain about being out of shape if you have the opportunity to get into shape. Britney tells us we need to take responsibility for our actions and hold ourselves accountable for our own shortcomings.
3.) One Man Dance Parties
When I’m home alone because I have no plans or friends, I like to have dance parties… by myself (IT’S NOT WEIRD). This song is perfect for such an occasion. The beat is infectious and incredibly easy to dance to and the melody is so hypnotic that you can listen to the song 20 times without even knowing it.
On a side note: Have you seen Snooki perform a routine to “Work Bitch”? It’s probably the only meaningful thing Snooki has ever done in her entire life besides squat peeing.
4.) Brain Exercises
Are you afraid that you don’t engage your brain muscles enough? Well do what I do. Listen to “Work Bitch” and use your brain power to try and decipher what Britney is actually saying in the song. The lyrics are almost impossible to understand because of Britney’s weird accent she puts on for the song. I’ve listened to the song at least 50 times, and I still don’t know what’s she saying most of the time. Apparently at some point she says, “I make the bubble up, call me the bubbler”. That’s news to me.
5.) Entertaining Yourself
Are you bored and alone in life? Just entertain yourself by pronouncing the word “governor” the way Britney does in the song. It’s surprisingly addictive and fun to do. Try it with me. “Govahnuh”- it’s so delightfully British/EDM. It’s even more fun than copying her voice from “Scream And Shout”.
Britney, I’m not sure when you decided to become a British robot, but keep it up. It really masks your inability to carry a tune or stay on pitch.
Whether you’re throwing back glasses of OJ or slowly poisoning your liver with Rubinoff, “Work Bitch” is the perfect song to party prep for. The song is fast and the beat builds which helps to energize you and put you in the party mood. And EDM music is in right now so you can’t help but feel cool and hip while you do it.
7.) Political Motivation
Are you tired of the divided government? Do you want to get involved in the laws and policies of the United States and use your democratic rights? If this applies to you at all, listen to this song. It’ll make you feel compelled to write to your legislators, sign petitions and change the world. I mean, that’s what this song is about after all: Political participation. I mean why else would Britney tell us to go call the governor?
8.) Expressing Your Homosexuality
Do you sometimes feel like you’re too gay to function? Do you wish you had some outlet to release all of your gay energy so you can stop being a homosexual plague on society? Listen to this song over and over. It’ll drain the gay right out of you which is nice because being really gay 24/7 can be very overwhelming. Just say the phrase “work bitch” for an hour nonstop and you’ll become sick of all gay lingo and no longer feel the need to talk incessantly about RuPaul’s Drag Race and how fierce everything is.
This song is also a celebration of how gay you are! So embrace the gay but realize you need to tone it down a bit.
Here’s some more fun gifs: