The 5 Questions We All Have About First Dates

1.) Who pays?

Most people would say that the guy should pay for dinner, but bitches it’s 2013, so we should start reevaluating our gender roles. It’s a known fact that most college students are broke as fuck, so sometimes its best to split the cost of the date. Perhaps one person can pay for dinner and the second person can pay for an activity or dessert. Or the person who asked the other one out should pay. Either way, you’re paying for part of it or this is going to be a very short date.

2.) What do you wear?

This question is very dependent on the context of the date. Where are you going? Is it a fancy restaurant or is it mini golf? Do you have any plans on sleeping with this person after the date? No matter what the date is, it’s hard to decide whether you should dress up or dress down. You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard, but you also don’t want to look like you don’t give a fuck. I prefer to make myself look like I didn’t try when I really put a lot of effort into my appearance. The goal to catching a good guy, ladies, is to make yourself appear as desirable as possible and make him think you’d be a good partner. Even if you are just a ratchet gremlin looking for sex and someone to pay for you to consume carbs.

3.) What should you do?

First dates are awkward so its best to make the first one as light and laidback as possible. Do an activity that has a set time frame, like going out to dinner or getting coffee. That way if it seems like your date may try to bring you back to his apartment and chop you up into a million pieces you have an excuse to bounce early. Don’t go to the movies, that’s a huge “ no no”. I once went on a date with someone and saw Zero Dark Thirty. Looking back on it, I don’t think terrorism is the most romantic subject matter although I do find Jessica Chastain to be quite sexual. Try to keep the date short, unless you’re really connecting. Or you have no other plans and you’re desperate for human interaction.

4.) How Far Should You Go?

Now I may be old fashioned, but I don’t think anal is appropriate for a first date. How far you go at the end of the date should be reflective of how you feel about the person. If you find the person insanely attractive but you have no intention of a second date or any relationship, then go to town. If it it’s a person you think you’d like to see again, it’s probably best to just stick to kissing. Leave a little to the imagination, people.

5.) When Should You Contact Them?

This is a tricky situation as well. Should you wait a couple of days to text them and try to initiate a second date, or should you text them just a few hours after the date? You don’t want to look desperate but at the same time if you like the person there’s no harm in being upfront. Just don’t come off as too aggressive- a simple “I had a great time, we should hang out again soon” text is usually sufficient.

And if you text him and he doesn’t respond or he decides not to follow up with a second date, don’t sweat it. Because you’re fly, with or without a guy.

And he’s probably a sucky person.

 

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