Can you eat my skittles

It’s the sweetest in the middle

Pink is the flavor

Solve the riddle

You know, I’ve always thought that Beyonce could possibly be made out of skittles. This song seems to confirm my suspicion. But in actuality- what the fuck is she referring to? Is she saying that her vagina is made out of corn syrup? What’s the sweetest in the middle? Pink is a color not a flavor, Beyonce. Is that the riddle? Did I solve it?


I’m about that H, town coming coming down

I’m coming down, drippin’ candy on the ground

H, H, Town, Town, I’m coming down

Coming, coming down, dripping candy on the ground

Oh look another song where Beyonce says that she’s made out of candy.  I really don’t understand the metaphor, Bey. And if you are made out of candy then perhaps you should tell your friend Michelle Obama. I doubt she’s too happy that you’re dripping candy on the ground and helping promote obesity. Also is “H” referring to Houston? Or is it referring to horses?



Spoon-fed pluralized eyes to find the beaches in the forest

When I’m looking off the edge, I preach my gut it can’t help but ignore it

To be honest, I have no fucking clue what this means. In fact, these lyrics seem a lot like something your bitchy English teacher would make you analyze in a 7-10 page paper. I can’t even make up a witty joke for this one because I actually have no idea what she’s trying to say. So I’m just going to assume it’s some Illuminati shit.



Boy, I’m drinking, I’m singing on the mic ‘til my voice hoarse

Then I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard

Surfboard, Surfboard

Under most circumstances, I would say that these lyrics are figurative because it’s impossible to ride a surfboard in a bathtub… but this is Beyonce and I’m pretty sure her bathtub is big enough for her to actually surfboard in. My question is, “why Beyonce?” I’m sure you have several private islands you own where you could surfboard. But I mean if you really like surfboarding in your bathtub, then I can’t really stop you.


Oh he so horny, he want to fuck

He popped all my buttons and he ripped my blouse

He Monica Lewinski’d all on my gown

Oh Beyonce, why did you have to make Monica Lewinsky relevant again? Also don’t you think it’s cruel to remind the world yet again about something she did when she was 22 years old? She’s more than her oral, Beyonce! SHE HAS A MASTER’S DEGREE! On a side note, this is one of the few lyrics I actually understand on the album. Jay Z wants to fuck but they can’t because they’re in a limo so I guess Beyonce gives him a BJ and he nuts all over her dress. Which is a bit rude if you ask me because I’m sure Beyonce’s gown costs more than my college tuition.