8 Reasons Pitbull Is The Absolute Fucking Worst

Let me start off by saying anyone who calls themselves “Mr. Worldwide” definitely sucks/isn’t. You can’t just claim that you’re Mr. 305 and then go straight to Mr. Worldwide. You’d think he’d make a gradual progression. I’m sure that nobody looked at Pitbull and was like “You know what man, you totally represent the ENTIRE city of Miami, you should just call yourself Mr. 305!” No fucking way. That was all Pitbull. If I start calling myself “Mrs. 617” you can slap me. Pitbull sucks…and here’s why.

1) Actual Pitbulls are way cooler than Pitbull

 

Top: Cute feisty little dog

Bottom: ugly feisty little dog

2) His songs are annoying as fuck

Pitbull songs are repetitive and obnoxious and you hear them everywhere. They’ll be on full blast at American Eagle and follow you to your Zumba class. I’m speaking from experience here. If I’m folding piles of clothes or attempting to hold myself together while dancing, chances are the last thing I wanna hear is, “I say, y’all having a good time, I’ll bet yeah, yeah, yeah que no pare la fiesta don’t stop the party”

…no

 

3) He will randomly sing in other languages

I can excuse the Spanish because ok we get it, he’s Cuban. Once he starts saying shit like, “Zig-a zig-a zig-a zig-a-zow” I can’t.

4)  He has to say one of his many names in all his songs

Whether it’s Pitbull, Mr. 305, or Mr. Worldwide, he’s gonnn let ya know.

 

5) He wears really tight pants

aaaaand the uncomfortable crotch business occurs.

 

6) He’s never without his shades

ay dios mio

 

7) His facial hair monstrosity

Do we have a name for this? I mean surely Mr. Worldwide is good at making up names so I guess we can leave this one up to him.

8) HE CALLS HIMSELF MR. WORLDWIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

ps: I almost couldn’t finish this article because I got so annoyed thinking of his songs and I didn’t even play any of them. THAT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING!

23 comments

  1. No girl, the worst part is that most of the time those annoying songs aren’t actually his… It’s all the artists he collaborates with or is featured with… It’s usually THEIR songs, but you’re right, he’s certainly not going to let them take all the spotlight, he’s gonna make sure you know he’s still there, and then rap about it in Spanish or Portuguese or whatever the fuck language he’s slaughtering. And I’m just going to assume those are when he’s talking about raping some chick, because he’s a dirty man whore.

    MR WORLDWIDE!! DALÉ!!

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  2. This little baldy cunt is the single most fucking annoying twat out there.In his stupid-ass white suits trying to look cool.Can’t sing for shit.Always features other artists in his ‘songs’ cause he’s just an untalented Hispanic wannabe trying to look cool.Wearing white suits and shades and stupid face-hair don’t make you cool as shit homie!Brotha needs singing classes.And a REALLY good thumping!He needs to have a few of his teeth kicked in so he can stop singing&annoying us.Oh,and thanks for THE worst World Cup song EVER!’clapping&crooning ‘Ole Ole Ola’ doesn’t count for a song.One of these days people will see this phony idiot for what he really is and throw him in the trash!

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  3. HOW DARE YOU IDIOT, Pitbull is the BEST!!!!!!!!! He is so cool, talanted, good looking and he is PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But you, no, you are pathetic and obviously obsessed with Pitbull almost as much as I am, because you’ve lost so much time for a person you hate! If you don’t like him, well don’t listen to him, but stop offending him just because this is not your type of music!!!!!!!!!!!!! PITBULL IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. hollyfuckingshit you guys cant just say shit about someone that you never met he could be impared or every fucking artist he works says “u bedder say worldwide some were in ur fucking rap u shit or ima beat u with dis baseball rap.” ull never know him. I like him and i dont so this awnser is 50%for pitbull & 50% against him

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  5. OMG , he is soooooo UGLY, I don’t get why he is soooooo fucking rich. Usually Hollywood, Sony etc, look for the WHOLE package to promote , looks , some talent, , but this mutha is the ugliest , I don’t mind his songs but when I think of that ugly face I just can’t listen anymore!!,
    I never put my email out there but for this I had to.

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  6. here is the thing.. pitbull is the most untalented person in the music industry . it get so annoying hearing stupid lyrics , saying 4 times the same word in one sentence,. i get angry but finally i realise that this man is a pretty good entertainer and is the only person who accept singing this crap lyrics and this makes him a very unique entertainer .

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  7. I at risk of being kicked out of bed because this damn post has my LMFVO . My daughter loves this creep , thinks he talented and that he is good looking . No , just hell no ! This guy is this worst and my damn 19 year old daughter knows better than to try to push his musical dysentery off on a family raised on The Clash . Her taste is music has me scared to death about her taste in men .

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  8. Haters, keep hating in the case of pitbull, he has EARNED it. This ugly mugged mofo probably lives in a house made of mirrors so he can continuously worship himself. He’s got to repeat “I am SO good looking” all day every day to sell his shit show to the hearing & vision impaired, because it takes a lot of polishing to buff that turd! I shudder when I think that he probably makes love to his own image everyday. It’s a great diet aid, however; the mere thought of him kills my appetite. Every time I’m tempted to eat, I think of his twisted puss & voila, I’m not hungry! In fact, i vomited my breakfast just thinking this much about him.

    Maybe he could still get braces to straighten out that mangled mess o’ shark like teefers? He probably needs them to intimidate record execs to keep signing contracts with him & other “artists” to do those pathetic collabs, like the one w Flo-Rida & the very fat guy in the bathrobe I just saw; it triggered me to Google “pitbull is ugly” & led me here to some other intelligent people. His “music” is dreadful tripe indeed. Where is Kayne? He needs to shut this clown down.

    The Worst Governor in the History of the World, Rick Scott of Florida, has paid this XL Stinky Fish Tofu Scented Douche “an undisclosed amount in the hi 6 figures” to promote Florida tourism. What do we in Miami get in return? ZIKA filled mosquitoes! It’s God’s way of saying “are you out of your freaking minds?” Good people in Florida are dying for lack of medicine & the Governator is paying this slug hundreds of thousands of dollars to Tweet #LoveFlorida? He insults the state as well as the good name of pitbulls, the dogs. He’s not worthy & should rename himself something more accurate like Mr Sharktooth Snarlface. His momma must have lied to him a whole lot when he was growing up….

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  9. FROM OUR KEYBOARDS TO GOD’S “THINGS TO DO TODAY” LIST!!

    On this glorious Trash Day morning, I open the newspaper & on pg 1 I’m greeted by this article: “FLORIDA PULLS PLUG ON PITBULL!”. Seems that while I was enjoying your posts yesterday, Old Shorty McSnarlface was getting an unexpected pink slip from the Florida tourism promotion board. Sorry, Armando, but no “high 6 figure” check from “Visit Florida” promotions this year! Guess you’re going to have to buy those baby foreskin facials with your ‘music’ money.

    Had I known I was going to get a wish granted, I might have focused on something more important, like a cure for cancer or peace on Earth. But a Win is a Win, so THANK YOU, GOD, SIR! Love you!

    BTW, Mr Acts So Big is actually the same height as this female (5′-7″); my 6′-2″ son calls me short daily. Per the article, Momma Bull put Lil Pit out on the mean streets of Miami for “selling drugs” after she & Mr Bull, Sr. split up when Bull Jr was just a Pup. Apparently that’s where he developed his signature look & gansta ways.

    It’s a start; let’s take that cash & help some struggling families or senior citizens get food & Rx’s. For now, Pit can shop for his too small suits in the Tweens Department “Clearance” racks at The Galleria. And maybe his next song could be about loving someone other than himself….

    PEACE! 🙂 🐙

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  10. FROM OUR KEYBOARD TO GOD’S “THINGS TO DO TODAY” LIST!!

    Front page of today Aug 25ths newspaper, this article: “FLORIDA PULLS PLUG ON PITBULL!”. Seems that while I was enjoying your posts yesterday, Shorty McSnarlface was getting an unexpected pink slip from the Florida tourism promotion board. Sorry, Armando, but no “high 6 figure” check from “Visit Florida Promotions” this year! Guess you’re going to have to buy those baby foreskin facials with your ‘music’ money.

    Had I known I was going to get a wish granted, I might have focused on something more important, like a cure for cancer or peace on Earth. But a Win is a Win, so THANK YOU, GOD, SIR! Love you!

    BTW, Mr Acts So Big is actually the same height as this female (5′-7″); & my 6′-2″ son calls me short daily. Per the same article, Momma Bull put Lil Pit out on the mean streets of Miami for “selling drugs” after she & Mr Bull, Sr. split up, when Bull Jr was just a Pup. Apparently that’s where he developed his signature look & gansta ways. Dios mio!

    It’s a start; let’s take that cash we saved & help some struggling families buy EpiPens, or senior citizens get food & Rx’s. For now, Pit can shop for his too small suits in the Tweens Departments at The Galleria. And maybe his next song could be about loving someone other than himself. Maybe he could show some humility & a side of himself that isn’t just he & his pals trying to convince us all how hot sexy & awesome he is.

    PEACE! 🙂 🐙

    Like

  11. I remember him getting knocked the fuck out in cameos lol good times he is the perfect example of what happen when a no talent piece of shit gets money

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