Last night was the premiere of the highly anticipated sixth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the bible for all the ladyboys and girls of the world. But if you’re a true Drag Race fan you most likely watched the incredibly janky LOGO app exclusive of the episode over a week ago and simply tuned in to confirm that our favorite horse faced bacon wearing Christine Baranski wannabe queen was sashaying away. And to answer your question, yes she did. Without further ado here’s my recap of episode 1:
This season Mother Ru decided to mix things up a little bit by introducing only seven queens, opting out of the traditional first episode for a two part season premiere. This means that if you’re only watching the show for Courtney Act and Bianca Del Rio you can probably skip the first episode. In theory, this is a good idea as it gives Ru the chance to better judge the contestants and make sure none of them slip through the cracks with passable mediocrity. On the other hand it sucks because the queens we love are not present and the ones we hate get too much screen time.
The first batch of queens is a mixed bag. It ranges from the terminally delightful Ben de la Crème to the painfully ghetto fabulous Laganja Estranja. And unfortunately the only memorable queens in the group are the insufferable ones. Cross Eyed Kimora Lee Simmons (Gia Gunn) and hood rat Laganja Estranja are cringe worthy from the beginning. Gia spends the entire episode either throwing shade at Kelly Mantle or saying “absolutely” in a nasal tone only the Kardashians have been able to master and Laganja’s in your face faux hood rat persona doesn’t do her any favors. The two are slightly different, however, as Laganja is a fierce dancer while Gia is incapable of doing anything apart from carrying around a hula hoop purse.
The first challenge is the routine photo shoot which always ends up being impressively boring. In fact, most of their photo shoots seem like ideas that were scraped out of the bottom of the America’s Next Top Model concept bin. Laganja wins the challenge because the other queens are either horribly coordinated or stupid, although April and Ben do pull through to some extent. Highlights of the shoot include Gia being incapable of jumping and Vivacious leaping with her two heads.
The main challenge is also somewhat of a letdown as it seems less inspired than previous premieres. The queens are tasked with creating a high fashion outfit based off a TV series (Downton Abbey, Keeping Up With The Kardashians etc). As the mini challenge winner, Laganja gets to assign the groups and gives April the unwanted Duck Dynasty and Adore Here Comes Honey Boo when Adore had specifically asked her drag sister for Golden Girls #hidefinitionSHADE
The first judge of the season is Adam Lambert, who comes dressed as a glam pirate. The season also sees the return of Santino Rice and seasoned drag queen, Michelle Visage, alongside Mike Ruiz, the photographer who you just want to irrationally punch in the face. In terms of execution, Ben de la Crème, Gia and April are the only queens who deliver their concept and bring high fashion to the runway. Adore walks down the runway looking a hot Honey Boo Boo mess; Vivacious struts as if she had shit her pants only seconds before she was to go on, Kelly wears bacon and Laganja looks like a ball of aluminum foil. In the end, Vivacious and Kelly end up in the bottom and lip sync for their lives to “Express Yourself” by Madonna. Both of them are pretty awful but Kelly gets sent home to the stable.
1. Ben de la Crème: As a queen, Ben seems committed to her character and aesthetic. Only time will tell if her terminally delightful persona will have our judges wanting treatment.
2. April Carrion: April seems like more of a risk taker than her other competitors, something that has paid off so far. And unlike previous PR queens April doesn’t have a language barrier to bar her from bringing her A-Game.
3. Adore Delano: Adore Delano is a fan favorite and while she may not be all that experienced she definitely has the star quality it takes to become RuPaul’s Next Drag Superstar.
4. Laganja Estranja: Laganja is a fierce competitor and can dance circles around her fellow queens. But she’s also annoying as fuck and well on her way to being one of the most hated queens of the season- it takes more than talent to be the next Drag Superstar, “OKAYYYYY?”
5. Gia Gunn: Gia is certainly a fishy queen but will her INCREDIBLY bitchy persona and incapability of muttering anything besides “Absolutely” get her sent packing early?
6. ViVacious: At least you’re trying?
7. Kelly Mantle: BACON. HORSE FACE. CHRISTINE BARANSKI #BAI