RuPaul’s Rupersized Recap

This week Rupaul, being the goddess that she is, bestowed not one but two glorious episodes of “Drag Race”. And these two episodes had everything Momma, OKURRRRRR: shade, double splits, AARP card carriers and the most glorious words one could ever hear, “Laganja, sashay away”.

Our first episode began with our queens reconvening after Milk spoiled herself and was eliminated from the competition. And after the lame mini challenge of this episode (hand modeling with fruit) it’s evident as to why Milk was asked to sashay away. RuPaul teams up the queens who get along the least to create a 30 second spot to market RuPaul’s Glamazon makeup line with ColorEvolution. Adore and Laganja are paired up because Laganja is a jealous hater and Adore is sick of her crocodile tears and Courtney Act and Joslyn Fox are paired up because Joslyn idolizes Courtney and Courtney thinks Joslyn is just a low rent version of her. This episode again portrays Courtney in a negative light as she belittles and almost bullies Joslyn who was arguably her biggest up until this point. Bianca and Trinity are paired together which you think would be the worst but actually works out pretty well because Bianca gives Trinity some advice to do the best that she can in the competition. And lastly Darienne and Ben are paired up together and the two work somewhat well together despite Darienne’s blatant hatred for  Ben.

Adore and Laganja win the challenge with their mean girl advertisement, but both the judges and other contestants know that this is more because of Adore than Laganja. Courtney Act and Joslyn Fox flounder in their hot mama commercial while Bianca and Trinity deliver as glamorous working girls. In fact, during the mainstage RuPaul even gets teary eyed and emotional over how well Trinity did in this challenge. Let’s pray to Christ that this bitch doesn’t get the Tyra edit and somehow snatch the crown.
Despite a funny commercial, Darienne and Ben find themselves in the bottom for their cougar commercial for failing to embody the spirit of advertising. Before the lipsync even starts, the viewers know that Darienne would be the more likely of the two to sashay away as Ben has won more challenges and never been in the bottom two. In a shocking twist, however, Darienne is proclaimed safe and it seems that Ben is too go home. But don’t fret- RuPaul only lets us suffer from our stress induced heart attack for a few moments before announcing that neither queen will be eliminated. And while it’s great that both queens stayed, it’s unfortunate that we’re still at the same place we were the episode before.

 

In our second episode, tensions rise between Joslyn and Courtney as Joslyn confronts her for the dismissive comments and belittling that occurred during the previous Untucked episode. And while Courtney tries to apologize it comes off as less than genuine. It’s safe to say that after these past two episodes Courtney has lost a lot of fans for her superficiality and superiority complex.

For this episode’s main challenge the queens are tasked with preparing a stand up comedy routine to perform in front of a live audience full of old bitches. With a season of such funny bitches the viewer has high expectations of what these queens can do, especially Bianca Del Rio. It is also assumed that certain unfunny queens will most likely shit the bed and end up in the bottom two (cough cough Laganja and Trinity). The actual stand up comedy performances, however, play out differently than expected. Ben, a comedic queen, butchers her act by rushing through her material and not holding for pauses. Darienne Lake delivers an extremely funny act (still hate you bitch) and Trinity K. Bonet is magnetic and hilarious, proving that she may in fact be able to do things successfully when she believes in herself. Laganja, however, is as horrible as expected and her jokes about marijuana don’t land. Adore, Joslyn and Courtney do their best but fail to captivate the elderly audience while Bianca Del Rio, Queen of Mean, slays the competition and wins the challenge with her zingy one liners.

Laganja and Joslyn find themselves in the bottom two and despite a fight to the death lip sync, Laganja is asked to sashay away. It’s unfortunate that Laganja leaves the competition as such an unlikable queen and it’s evident from Untucked that she is a deeply insecure person. But at the end of the day, despite my pity for her, she was the worst and deserved to be sent home packing.

 

QUEEN RANKINGS

 

Bianca Del Rio

Is there anything Bianca can’t do? This queen continues to slay the hookers of the competition with her trademark wit, incredible aesthetic and heart of gold. I know that it’s still early- but it’s pretty clear that Bianca is the only true contender deserving of Next Drag Superstar title.

Adore Delano

Adore Delano came into this competition a hot ass mess, but now she’s solidified herself as a fierce competitor. She’s charming, hilarious and just vulnerable enough to make her the most accessible of competitors. And if Adore avoids bad hemlines and believes in herself, she’ll make it to the top three for sure.

BenDelaCreme

Ben may have tanked in these last two challenges but she is still one of the best queens in the competition. What Ben needs to do is show some vulnerability and versatility so that the judges know she is more than just a character. And once she does that, she’ll be able to climb her way back to the top.

Trinity K. Bonet

I never thought I’d see the day that Trinity would be this high up on the list, but bitch deserves it. Yes, Trinity may be incredibly moody and whiny but she is a talented queen. She always kills it on the runway and she is capable of delivering great performances in the main challenges. And since we’ve had so many back to back acting challenges, I think it’s safe to say that the competition will be transitioning to sewing challenges which are right up Trinity’s alley. With Trinity’s back story and momentum built from these two episodes, she may be a heavier contender than first anticipated.

Courtney Act

Courtney has been a big disappointment in this competition so far. While she is obviously talented and beautiful, she seems to be coasting by on her popularity rather than skill. And with the way she’s been edited for the show- she’s coming across as superficial and mean spirited. In fact, I now think there’s a very good chance that she won’t be making it to the top three. Let’s hope though that she pulls her shit together and starts taking this game seriously.

Joslyn Fox

It seems that Joslyn’s charm is fading and that the judges are realizing that she is now the most polished of her competitors. She delivered mediocre performances in both episodes and failed to impress the judges with her runway fashion. If Joslyn can pull her fashion together, there is a chance she can squeeze her way into the top 5. But it’s more than likely she’ll be gone within the next two episodes.

Darienne Lake

Darienne may be talented but she’s still not the most likable queen in this competition. She can be very bitter and stuck in her head and it doesn’t help that she always wears the same goddamn silhouette. Maybe she doesn’t deserve the bottom spot on this list- all I know is that I personally hate her and would gladly help her pack her wigs.

Laganja

#bitchbye

 

 

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s