The Types of Gays That Go To College In Boston

As told by a completely misinformed and uneducated gay Northeastern student

1.) Boston College

There are two types of gay guys at BC: the closet cases and the GFJs (Gay for Jesus).  The first group are the guys who experiment with other men via Grindr or Craigslist but would never be caught with another guy in public or doing anything remotely homosexual. They might even be the type of guy to marry a woman and have children before coming out at the age of 50 and running off with a strapping lad. The latter group are the gays that are very religious and non promiscuous who love volunteering and serving their community. But like who actually even likes volunteering?

2. Wentworth Institute of Technology

The gays at Wentworth are the ones who are technologically inclined (obvi). They’re not your run of the mill gays- they like things like anime and computer programming and think that showering every day is a suggestion rather than a requirement. Not all gays at Wentworth are unfortunate though- just the ones who think having front bangs are acceptable.

3. Boston Conservatory

You’ve never seen a gay until you’ve seen a Boco gay. They’re the type to twirl around campus and sling shade like their lives depend on it.  They’re pretty, fit and think pursuing a career in the arts is a noble thing. But be warned- they may be cute and talented but they probably wear scarves every day and jack off while listening to the Next to Normal soundtrack.

4. Suffolk University

Gay people studying law? I don’t really know or care about anything Suffolk does. If I were to guess I’d say it’s full of the overachieving type gays who may have been bullied as teenagers and who are now determined to get a high paying job so they can rub it in the faces of their haters. But again- I know nothing about this school.

5. Emerson

Emerson is full of the artsy, somewhat pretentious gays. They’re the type of gays that think they’re really fascinating because they took a semester long course that analyzed the role of sound in Inception. They’re generally smart, indie, into soft/hard drugs and frown upon anyone who isn’t as culturally/artistically inclined as they are.

6. Mass Art

I don’t know, they’re artists? I’d assume they’re talented people who smoke weed while painting. Maybe they’re tortured souls. Aren’t all artists kind of gay to an extent?

7. Emmanuel College

Emmanuel is the college for mousy gays who are probably smart but not smart enough to get into a bigger Catholic School like BC.  My guess is that most gay men spend their time there surrounded by a gaggle of girls and they do their best to avoid the more treacherous gays operating outside their walls.

8. Harvard University

Harvard is for the academic gays who pride themselves on their knowledge of art, culture and world politics. They’re intimidating because they come off as rather elitist (I mean they probably are better than everyone else but whatever). The gays there either think they’re better than everyone else OR spend all of their time trying to come off as the complete opposite.  A lot of them major in things like literature or pursue liberal arts degrees- but like if I’m gonna get with a Harvard man he bettah be a future doctah.

9. Boston University

Is it weird to assume that a lot of bisexual guys go to BU? I just feel like people at BU are down for whatever but that’s mostly because I assume they smoke a lot of weed. BU is a lot like Northeastern- except with an ugly campus. I feel like the gays at BU wear a lot of graphic tees, listen to a lot of techno music and are strictly into oral.

10. Northeastern University

Clearly I’m biased when talking about Northeastern, but I think the gays there are very career oriented and professional. They’re all about networking and having sex as their form of exercise and release from a busy, stressful week. They may even be vampires….

 

My apologies to all of the schools I didn’t care enough to include!

 

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