1.) You have zero free time
Relationships aren’t just emotional commitments, they’re time commitments. If you’re a busy person involved in a million activities then you most likely don’t have time to be dating. When your schedule gets busy or life gets stressful your romantic relationship will be what suffers and you may very well end up taking out your anxiety and frustration on your partner. So if you’re the president of two clubs, working a part time job and taking classes DON’T DATE ANYBODY YOU OVERACHIEVING FUCK!
2.) You don’t know what you want
I think that we often settle for things we don’t really want because we’re too afraid to chase after what we do want. We say to ourselves “I won’t move to California because Jeff’s here and I love Jeff so leaving would be bad” or talk ourselves out of taking risks or stay in stagnant relationships because they provide security and stability. You shouldn’t be in a relationship though if you aren’t sure it’s what you want or if you don’t know what the next step in your life is.
3.) You don’t know who you are
You can learn a lot about yourself in a relationship. You learn about how to handle conflict properly, how to share secrets, how to be intimate with something- lot of cool things, yo. But if you don’t know who you are, if you have no self esteem, you shouldn’t be in a relationship. While it can be nice to have some support and champion you, it becomes dangerous when you demand that they do nothing but shower with praise. It’s like the great RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Your self worth can’t be dependent upon someone else and its not fair to you or your partner to stay in a relationship solely because they make you feel good about yourself.
4. You just got out of a relationship
Relationships take SO MUCH out of you, especially the breakup. Maybe it’s the introvert in me talking but people need time to recharge and be on their own. They need time to process their break up and the relationship to better understand what worked, what didn’t, and what role they personally played in the breakdown of the relationship. If you jump into a relationship immediately after a break up you don’t allow yourself this time for introspection. In fact, the only thing it really does is show that you are probably unable to stand on your own.
5. All of your friends are dating
Just get a cat, bitch.
6. You’re in the selfish stage of your life
To be fair, no one wants to be “selfish”. That doesn’t mean, however, that we aren’t selfish. We need to be selfish when we’re in our early twenties because the decisions we make now impact our lives greatly. If you get offered a fantastic job across the country, take it. Worry about your family or friends after. If someone in your life is toxic, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally, cut them out. I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying that you don’t have energy to focus on anyone but yourself. Now I’m not saying you should be a dick or completely apathetic. What I’m saying is that at the end of the day we’re all individuals. By being selfish and taking the time and energy to cultivate our own personal passions and future, we can gain the happiness needed to give back to others. Because let’s face it- if your life sucks you’re probably going to be a dick anyways.