Zac Efron: High School Musical


The moment Zac Efron started lip syncing in High School Musical there was a “start of something new”…in my pants. If you were born in the 90’s, your sexual revelation was definitely impacted by Zac in some way or another. Zac was like the perfect gay non gay person. He was sporty, sensitive, musical, and hunky as hell. He was straight up man kryptonite. I blame Zefron for my high school phase of loving kind straight boys.

Robert Pattinson: Twilight

I don’t personally find Robert Pattinson all that appealing in Twilight but that’s mostly because I think that movie is for simian fuck heads. But I’ve heard gays say that he played a big deal in their sexual awakening so I felt I had to include him. Unlike Zac, Robert was brooding and dangerous. He looked like the kind of guy that would put a cigarette out on you, and as some gays have self-esteem issues, I can understand how that could be appealing in some way.

Jake Epstein: Degrassi

Half the reason I watched Degrassi was for the bipolar beauty that was Craig. He was sensitive, self-destructive, and incredibly passionate about all of his artistic endeavors. It also helped that he looked and acted like a real high school student and that we got to see him grow up. Craig seemed attainable, which made him only more desirable. He was like the cute boy in your science class who would definitely take you up on your date offer only to dump you a week later for the girl who just boobs.

Lorenzo Lamas: Grease

Lorenzo Lamas is completely irrelevant and useless in Grease (and life). But for some reason I was obsessed with him as a young kid. I always wanted Sandy to end up with him because he was dumb/nice jock. He also had some great man thighs. I’d let him bench press me any day…well at least I’d let Lorenzo Lamas circa 1970 do that.

Freddie Prinze Jr: Everything he’s ever been in

Freddie Prinze Jr. was the *Prinze* of high school movies in the 90’s. And there’s a reason why, he’s incredibly sexy! Freddie was the kind of guy you wanted to mow your lawn or sneak you a beer. He was the quintessential straight guy, not super ambitious but really good with handiwork projects.

Liam Hemsworth: The Last Song

Before I talk about Liam, I have something to say: Ryan Gosling will not be on this list. I know this will be upsetting to some of you, but I honestly think Ryan Gosling is “meh” so I don’t give a flying fuck about your feelings. Anyways, back to Liam. The Last Song came out a little while before I did. Watching Miley and Liam’s romance in the film made me realize how much I wanted to be in a relationship like that. And it made me realize that I definitely wanted to be in Miley’s boots. Liam is just so sexy in this movie. He’s faithful, fit, and he makes all of us fat girls wish we were desirable enough to get a summer boyfriend.

Paul Rudd:Clueless

There are no words to describe Paul Rudd’s beauty in this movie. He’s goofy, smart, sensitive, and so ridiculously cute. I don’t even have a joke to make about this one.

Josh Brolin

Josh Brolin was some 80’s trade. In The Goonies he was muscular, a little mean-spirited, and he totally rocked the shit out of a headband. He was one of the first guys I saw in a movie who made me think to myself, “Wow, I’d love him to toss me around the yard like a football.” Keep in mind I was eight when I thought this.

Mike Vitar: The Sandlot

The Sandlot is the defining movie of the 90’s for kids. I’ve seen it at least 30 times and know a lot of the dialogue by heart. Now I know it’s creepy for me to say that I was obsessed with a 13 year old boy, but I was little at the time so I’m not a pedophile. I loved Benny so much; I wanted to be both his friend and his boyfriend. He was smart, talented, and surprisingly not a dickhead for being a preteen. He also had beautiful olive skin and I’m pretty sure he spits in his hand at one point in the movie and surprisingly that was a turn on for me.

Hayden Christensen: Star Wars

Hayden Christensen was too sexy in Episode 3 with his shaggy mane and “I have no problem with killing younglings “mentality. Sure he was and continues to be an abomination to cinema, but I’d let him  force choke me any time.