22 People I Need To Thank On My 22nd Birthday

1. My Mother and Father

Oh sweet Nance, I often treat you like an emotional punching bag and I apologize for that. You have always been my biggest supporter and while you may often embarrass me you go above and beyond for all your children. You’re a great mom, even if you did pass your questionable bowel movements onto me. Dad, thank you for passing on your love of art to me and for supporting my creative ambitions.

  1. My Siblings

Okay, so technically this is a 3 for 1 special, but that’s only because I don’t like any of you enough individually to give you your own spot. Erin, thank you for always showing me affection and making the extra effort to spend time together. Sean, thank you for being my opposite. I need someone to keep me from going too gay. Kara, thank you for being my little harlot of a sister. You understand me better than most people and always put my shit in perspective.

  1. Nick Lawton

Nick, you get the third spot for that one time I referred to you as my “other friend” in an article. You’ve always been there for me and I’m truly honored to call you my best friend. You are eternally supportive, encouraging, honest, and understanding. And no, I’m not only saying this because you give me free alcohol and do my makeup.

  1. Taylor Maxfield

Taylor, you are my mama bear. You look out for me more than anyone else and you have taught me how to be an almost fully functioning human being. You always encourage me to be myself and to live a life without any fucks to give and for that I am grateful.

  1. Anna Blaikie and Lindsay McCallum

Anna, you are my other mama bear. You call me out on my poor life choices, without ever truly judging and you go above and beyond for all of your friends. You have the kindest heart of all the people I know and I am a better person because of you. Lindsay, I can’t believe we’ve been friends for fifteen years now! You always provide a balanced perspective (and outfit) and accept me for all of my quirks. I appreciate your friendship more than you know.

  1. Molly Tupper

Molly, you know me before I knew myself and you gave me a place to call home in high school. You are one of the sweetest, most individualistic people I know. Thank you for all the tea, laughs, and vegetables you introduced me to.

  1. Brendan, Elizabeth and Avery

I’m lumping you all together because together you three make the Deathly Hallows. Brendan, I’ve known you for too long. Thank you for pushing me creatively and embracing all of the silliness in life. Elizabeth, thank you for jigging and taking the time to console me whenever things are rough in a way that others couldn’t. Avery, thank you for giving me the Diane Keaton in life that I never knew I needed. You’re a true star and a great friend.

  1. Sam Hill

Sam, I didn’t know who to group you with, but just know you don’t deserve your own spot because you aren’t free to celebrate my birthday. Anyways, you get me in a way that a lot of people don’t. You’re hilarious and honest and you always take the time to make me feel appreciated. I could talk to you for hours and I’m glad you dated my neighbor that one time.

  1. Jon Zhang

Jon, when I first met you I was like “JuJubee?” You are such a great listener and hunty. You make me laugh and you take the time to listen to me bitch and complain. You’re a generous spirit and a great blogger, who really knows how to live life to the fullest.

  1. Kim Tran

Kim, you are hilarious. You don’t give a shit and you live life the way you want. You call me out on my bullshit and despite your quirks, you provide really conscientious advice. You’re such a creative being and gentle soul and my life wouldn’t be half as colorful without you in it.

  1. Sara Al Meh(however you spell it now)

Sara, you are a true sport. You laugh at all of our terrible jokes and put up with our complete insanity (I’m referring to Kim, Taylor, Jon, and myself of course). You and I have so much in common, probably too much in common, which makes you one of my favorite conversation partners. You’re always honest and authentic, which I could benefit from being. Thanks for being a role model.

  1. Alicia Greenwood

*Flips hair* Thank you Alicia for embracing myself and all the others (*gays*) of the theatre department and taking the time to let us know that we shouldn’t feel ashamed as to who we are. You’re a hilarious visionary with no tolerance for bullshit, which is fantastic. Thank you for being there for me as I transitioned into adulthood/womanhood. It would have been a lot harder without you.

  1. Kristen McCleary

Kristen, you little fucker! You were one of my first friends at Northeastern. I can honestly say that it wasn’t until I met you that I even liked the school. Thank you for being so witty and self-aware. You always tell it like it is and that is not something all people can do.

  1. The Hookers of Columbus

Okay, so there’s like 5 of you and I pretty much hate you all like 75% of the time so you can’t get your own spots. Kelsey, thank you for liking me first and for all of the sass. Alli, thank you for the friend dinners and for all of the special dates we’ve been on. Abby, thank you for your beauty and generosity…mostly just your beauty. Nicole, thank you for being such a great person to be bitchy with and Dara, thank you for introducing me to vegan sausage and for that one time you drunk rambled at me.

  1. Colleen McCarthy

Colleen, you are the thriftiest bitch I know. You’ve been one of my best friends at Northeastern and you never fail to make me laugh. You taught me how to survive in London and you’ve continued that education back in Boston. Thank you for making Her Campus bearable.

  1. The Fitzgeralds

Thank you Jeanne, Nana, Susan, Jeanne, John, and Grampie for always being there for us and always making our days a bit better. Susan, thank you for your creativity and sense of humor. Jeanne, thank you for all of the movie trips and for always being a great support system. Nana, thank you for your hilariousness and Grampie, thank you for everything you’ve ever done for us. John, thank you for the laughs.

  1. Courtney/Matt Steriti

Courtney, thank you for showing me that there is still beauty in the world. And Matt Steriti, thank you for being the funniest fucker I know.

  1. The Dohertys

Thank you for all of the support thus far and for encouraging me to pursue what I’m passionate about.

  1. Gentlemen Callers

Thanks for showing me what I do and don’t want out my future relationships and sexual endeavors

  1. London Girls

Grace, Steph, and Claudia thank you for not killing me during our trip abroad. Bigger thanks for making it so memorable and for sticking around long after the journey. You’re the best.

  1. Zac Efron

Thank you for my sexual awakening.

  1. The NSMT Gang

Thanks for being the first people to ever make me feel like I belong somewhere. Rachel, thank you for your voicemail and obsession with me. Alex, thank you for being famous enough for me to name drop. DJ, thank you for dealing with the middle school version of me. Katy, Kyle, Mikayla, Jess, you all rock my socks.

  1. For everyone who has ever told me no

Thank you for all of the inspiration for my future memoir.

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