1.) Losing track of just how many subscription services you’ve actually signed up for
Wait, you’re telling me I have Amazon Prime, Spotify, Netflix, Hulu, Hello Fresh, AND Apple Music?!
2.) Paying off of the mountain of student debt you’ve accrued
While I did enjoy vomiting in the freshman dorm showers and sleeping through my 8 am classes, I’m not sure I’d do it all over again if I knew I’d be paying for school for the rest of my natural born life.
3.) Learning how to actually budget
According to this budget tracker, I spent 90% of my paycheck on wine and takeout this month.
4.) Splitting bills with roommates
Okay Gretchen, I don’t know why we’re paying the same amount for electricity when you’re the one who leaves her vibrator running all day!
5.) Resisting the urge to ask your parents for money
Should I hold onto my integrity and independence by paying for things myself or should I beg my mother to buy the $300 desk I clearly can’t afford?
6.) Actually saving up money
At what point does it become socially unacceptable to only have $7 in your savings account?
7.) Straddling the line between being social and not spending money
Hey, how about instead of going to the club and spending $30 on overpriced drinks we just hang out at my place, scrapbook, and cry over how pathetically broke and lame we’ve become?
8.) Avoiding unnecessary purchasing
So, I know I’m already in the red, but I somehow accidentally ended up in Target today and walked out with $350 dollars worth of haircare products and a credit card.
9.) Accepting that your time and existence has a monetary value
I’m just a poorly paid cog in a giant capitalist machine!
10.) Deciding whether you should date for love or money
Why love a man when you can love his Ferrari instead?
Is this why I'm still single? 