Welcome back to my RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars rucap where I discuss the buffoonery, tomfoolery, and utter romper-room fuckery that is Episode 6. But before I delve into Katya’s KKK ad, the sequin crop top, or the most heinously unfair elimination to date, let’s rewind to the workroom.
Episode 6 begins with our queens reconvening in the workroom after Phi Phi’s epic elimination and the epic lip sync that resulted in the double shantay of Tatianna and Alyssa. Tensions are noticeably high now that our top five is a top six and two of the fiercest competitors have clawed their way back into the competition. It’s anyone’s guess as to how the returning queens will affect the elimination rules set in place, but given how far along we are now, it’s safe to assume that no one is safe in the competition. Gone are the days of objective elimination criteria—any queen could get the chop (chop chop chop).
Ru arrives in the workroom and announces a Shark Tank inspired maxi challenge in which our queens will have to pitch a product that reflects their own personal brand in a commercial. The queens come up with a variety of different products to pitch, ranging from Detox’s talking trash can to Katya’s Krisis Kontrol (KKK), an anxiety-curbing mist. For the most part, every queen manages to churn out a relatively memorable commercial. Alaska delivers high-camp with her tape commercial, Tatianna spills the T with her tea set, and Alyssa serves up her own special brand of go-go juice. Roxxxy stumbles yet again with an ad that is good but not quite as good as her fellow competitors. Katya, on the other hand, delivers the funniest commercial of the group, truly capitalizing on her kooky humor and showing the audiences how much she’s grown since her season.
On the runway, our queens serve full coverage realness with their pant ensembles. Katya serves 80’s Ellen Barkin, Detox gives us high-fashion capris, Alaska gives us campy patriotism, and Tatianna destroys the runway with her TLC-inspired dance moves. Roxxxy and Alyssa churn out less inventive looks, but Alyssa’s slightly superior commercial saves her from the bottom. Alaska and Katya are deemed the top two, and in a severe case of déjà vu, Tatianna and Roxxxy are left up for elimination yet again. At this point, Roxxxy has been in the bottom 4/6 episodes, but Tatianna has also been out of the competition, so our top two are unsure of who to send packing. The situation is even further complicated by Roxxxy and Alaska’s friendship, which affects Alaska’s decision-making more than she’d like to admit. In a perfect world, Tatianna’s superior commercial and runway would make her the automatic queen to save, but we don’t live in a perfect world, we live in a fucking nightmare, so of course the reality of this happening is slim.
History repeats itself when Alaska wins the lip-sync against Katya. In an extremely bizarre speech, Alaska chooses to chop Tatianna over her best friend Roxxxy because Roxxxy loaned her a shirt or something. It’s truly the most outrageous elimination to date, and it’s incredibly sad to see Tatianna sashay yet again. At the very least, however, she got two more episodes to showcase her beauty, humor, and grace. Hopefully, an unfair elimination will help win over even more fans.
And with that elimination, we’re back to the final five. Alaska has won four challenges so far, so it’s pretty much a given that she will be winning the whole thing. But who will be fighting against her in the top 3? Katya? Detox? Alyssa? It’s anyone’s guess.
RANKINGS
Alaska
Just crown the bitch already! Girl has won 2/3 of the challenges this season and shows no signs of slowing down. Alaska is not only the most well-rounded competitor this season, she’s also the hungriest, and it’s showing. With her cutthroat nature and laser-sharp focus, there’s no way she won’t win.
Katya
Katya’s commercial was the best of the bunch by far, and her runway was outstanding. Katya is one of the few queens capable of nabbing the crown from Alaska, but will her two times in the bottom keep her from winning?
Detox
Detox’s ad wasn’t great, but it was further proof of how consistent she is as a competitor. Detox is the runway queen to beat this season, and her two times in the top have given her one of the better track records in the bunch. She and Katya are the only ones with a fighting chance at the crown.
Alyssa
Alyssa has been the shining star this season with her high energy and utter buffoonery. She may not be the most fashionable queen, but her humor and charisma are really showing through this season. Could Alyssa be the first returning queen to claw her way to the top 3?
Tatianna
Tatianna’s commercial wasn’t as funny as her fellow competitor’s, but she nailed the runway and showed just how fierce of a competitor she truly is. Should she have been eliminated? Absolutely not. But at least she got a second chance to show off just how terrific she is.
Roxxxy
Congratulations Roxxxy, you are the first queen to survive four times in the bottom. At least you’ll be going home some kind of winner!
Is this why I'm still single? 